The YzW Bloggy

Attached!! with joyce =)

2009-05-15T04:27:00.002+08:00

hey guys.. sorry again.. for not posting.. there's so much things happening and not ppl actually view my blog i guess.. lol

anyway.. i am happily attached.. !! and yup.. guess who.. Joyce.. a very lovable girl.. i am so glad that she's giving me this opportunity to take care of her.. lol.. she's the girl i feel that can really make my life near to perfection..

though we are only together for not long.. but i believe that both of us are keen to make this relationship work.. haha.. i will really treasure her like never before.. no more playboy attitute from me.. no more fickle minded thinking coz i know she is all i ever need..

to those who doesnt believe, i will not prove u wrong coz i dun wanna prove anything.. i love her becoz i am really mesmerise by her.. i am devoted to her coz i know she's a girl tt i long to have.. i am old enough to know what's right and wrong in a relationship .. i am mature enough to know what is best for the relationship and definitely i am bastard enough before to know what is a bastard and will never let that ever happen in this relationship..

pls be happy for me coz i am absolutely delightful about it.. =)

-zW- together together.. =)

Why do i care so much abt them..

2009-04-20T18:53:00.002+08:00

Sorry for not posting for so long.. these few weeks has been mainly sad stuff.. never had the mood to post it up.. but now.. since i have nth to do.. i guess i shall share with u guys.. hopefully u are still checking out my blog once in a while..

Yup.. me and bel has become friends.. since a month plus ago i guess.. she has move on and have someone to look after her.. i find no need to be in her life other than a friend... though it's still kinda awkward when i go see Oreo .. but we try to remain as where we are when we see each other.. i dun have feelings for her anymore.. i was hurt enough .. i feel that i deserve someone better.. someone special..

Life in army still about the same.. life outside army was still alright..

sometimes i come to wonder.. have i been to hard on myself in making everyone around me happy.. have people really understand the amount of effort or even appreciate it.. i know when i do something.. i dun expect anything from them back.. but when it comes to her.. i just want to be loved by her..

She told me she needs me. but as a friend.. how much can a friend do.. how much can i offer my friendship to u ... i wonder.. i wonder whether whatever i have done is mainly for a friend, or becoz i love u .. i find it pointless sometimes to do some things but i still do it and hoping that it might make u happy.. in whatever way.. i love to see ur smile.. i love ur companion.. but do u even realise that i am really sincere and serious abt u ..

some of my friends say i am fickled-minded.. i change my target like i am desperate... some say i have change in person becoz of my life now.. i have no answer to that.. but all i know i am serious abt her.. even more than bel .. she's the sweetest thing in my life.. for now and maybe forever.. .

i can't possibly force myself to leave her life knowing that she needs me and i needs her.. even if it hurts me for waiting for her.. i just can't bare thinking of leaving her.. she has been there when i am in my darkest moment.. she had been there to enjoy lots of things with me.. she's like a soulmate to me..

i know i will be waiting for her.. for i dunno when will i collaspe.. tinking what if one day she doesnt needs me anymore.. what if she has a boyfriend .. what if she just want to stay as it is forever.. i really dunno..

all i know is to love her, care for her like i usually do.. hoping one day , just one day she will start to open her heart and let me in .. i just hope she come to realise that i am really deep in love with her...

-zW- patience wayne..

sorry!! posting on sat!

2009-03-10T22:56:00.001+08:00

Sorry guys, din blog recently.. many things happen too quickly.. but i am glad is over... haha..

hmmm ... i shall blog this saturday k .. wait for my posting my dear friends!! =)

all of u take good care k! booking in now..

-zW- must finish reading book!

Songs of her

2009-02-22T03:30:00.004+08:00

Sorry for not posting for quite some time.. din have much time to blog when i book out..
was usually in camp u see.. haha...

hmmm.. these posting.. it's going be about the songs i listen everynight in camp..
these songs, contain the lyrics that represent how i feel... or what i want to say to baby..

baby i miss you
Beyonce Knowles - If I Were A Boy

It's a little too late for you to come back
Say it's just a mistake
Think I'd forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong

--------------------------------------
Avril Lavigne When You're Gone

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
And when you're gone
The words I need to hear
To always get me through the day and make it okay
I miss you

We were made for each other
Out here forever I know we were, yeah yeahhh
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I do, I give my heart and soul I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah

--------------------------------
Elliott Yamin Wait for You

probably the whole song!
but this are the words from the lyrics which coincide with my heart

So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else I can do
don´t tell me I ran out of time If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I´m fine it just ain´t true
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do I´ll wait for you

---------------------------------
Jonas BrothersWhen you Look me in the Eyes

How long will I be waiting,

To Be With You Again?

Gonna tell you that I love you,

In the best way that I can.

I can't take a day without you here,

You're the light that makes my darkness disappear.

When you look me in the eyes,

And tell me that you love me.

Everything's alright, When you're right here by my side.

When you look me in the eyes, I catch a glimpse of heaven.

I find my paradise, When you look me in the eyes.

When I hold you in my arms, I know that its forever, I just gotta let you know, I never wanna let you go,

----------------------------
Finally, this song.. yea.. what else, it's the most played in my ipod..
Secondhand Serenade It's Not Over

the whole song just reminds me how regret i am .. how i wish things aren't over... how i wish baby will come back to me..

i still love her , in fact, after all these months, i realised that she's the only one.. i am waiting for that second chance..

-zW- i love you.. so so much still..

why do u have to tell me

2009-02-01T15:59:00.002+08:00

Gosh .. i am not going to book out for the next week end.. going to tekong again.. lol .. ok .. it's going to take a 12 days before i can be out with my frens.. who cares.. i have nothing to do when i am out anyway .. just finish up my ns ba...

Hmm... lost around 50 bucks during this chinese new year.. but meet quite a number of ppl.. have quite a lot of fun actually.. so doesn't really matter la .. yesterday was my mum and sister birthday.. bought an expensive watch for my mum .. haha.. she was happy.. we went to chinatown and have korean cuisine.. that was my first time having korean food.. lol.. dun really know to appreciate.. haha..

hmmm..i really dunno how shud i react after she tag me and say that i can move on.. if all my frens say this to me is normal.. but it came from her.. telling me she has move on and i can do it too.. wad the hell rite.. how hurtful it is .. but when i saw it ... i was feeling ok .. not really hurt.. coz i know i can't possibly get anything from this relationship anymore..

am i waiting or am i just living my life? i dunno.. all i know is that i am always thinking of her every night.. even if i dun wan to but it just happens.. and there is no way i can control it.. all i can do is force myself to just slp .. well.. this may be the process of letting go i guess.. i really dunno.. i still love her .. but nothing can be done la

-zW- =)

Happy Cow Year

2009-01-27T03:45:00.003+08:00

Happi Chinese new year to everyone!!

Just came back from malaysia .. met all my aunties and uncles.. and even my nephew and niece.. gosh .. now i am really getting old.. i have got like ten nephews and nieces. whoa. though not everyone back at the hometown yet, but the kids have already rock the places with thier noises.

I'm glad that my aunties are happy and i really wish them to have healthy life and happiness .. my Da Gu especially.. i need to show her acheivement, she really wants to see me successful in life.. i love her so much and really hope she can see me married, get my degree.. and build my family.. she's kinda old but i really wants her to witness all my happiness..

just came back from darwin house too.. crowded.. with all my buddies and friends.. playing blackjack and mahjong.. wow.. it was really fun and entertaining with them around.. all the jokes and laughter make the house filled with the chinese new year atmosphere..

it's the starting of the new year.. i had told myself to move on without her.. i thought i could.. coz i have never fail to let go of girl when i wanted to.. but now.. i am struggling.. i couldn't let go .. i dunno why .. i just feel i need her by my side.. even when i tell myself it's over, in my heart i really wish that she's still by my side.. loving me.. i try v hard not to contact her.. but even so, it makes me missing her more in the end.. even if i occupied myself with things to do.. there are so many things that reminds me of her..

i really do not know what to do.. i called her yesterday .. telling her that i wanted to see oreo .. yes i miss oreo.. i want to play with oreo.. but i am missing her even more.. i just feel that i need to hug her.. wanted to be love by her again .. but yea.. all i can do is dream.. whenever i slp .. i always think of the happi times that we both had.. i wanted to have sweet dreams with her inside.. coz that's the only way to feel tt she's with me.. i am lousy i know.. i am trying hard.. v hard .. jiting tells me it takes time.. i just wonder how long..

but nevertheless, i still manage to spend my chinese new year happily.. seeing everyone enjoying themself already makes me happy.. and i hope things will get better for the rest of this year..

-zW- mo0o0o0

Be strong and move on

2009-01-17T01:52:00.002+08:00

I have no choice but to accept the fact that it's impossible for her to come back to me anymore.. i did all the wrong stuff.. i left her.. i went to find another gal.. and i want her back again .. i tink she feels that i treat her like anything.. i wan i take .. dun wan .. put a side..

i dun really know what's running through my mind the other time.. i was feeling not loved at all by her.. as she was busy with her attachment and stuff as well.. there are so many things in my head at that moment.. i just need sometime alone.. but i couldn't find the time.. in the end.. i made a stupid choice by leaving her.. Yes. after i left her i do enjoy myself with my frens.. but deep down something in my heart is missing..

den.. i went to find joyce for love.. which i thought joyce was the one .. better than her.. but through all my army and sad times.. i found out that it was only bel.. only her can be my support.. one who knows how to take care of me.. one who understand me inside out... one who i have when i am in need.. but.. now i no longer have her..

i dun understand why ppl only learns when they are in need, in bad times.. they only realise who are the ones who love them .. i am one of those.. who din cherish the love given but treat it like nonsense..

it's been almost half a year since we break up.. lots of holding and pulling back through these months.. but now.. she has moved on.. one decision i tink it is good for her coz i know i am now regard as one who hurt her so deep.. she wanted to spend her life with me initially... but i gave up on her.. causing her to go through lots of misery which i shudn't have let..

in some ways, i know i've changed her life.. she wanted to be a tour escort.. but because of me.. she chose to be a events excutive.. she gave up what she wants to do for me.. and me? i only gave up on her.. i owe her lots of things in her life.. no matter how much happiness or even oreo(dog) i have given her.. i know it will never make up for the pain that i cause her to suffer..

in camp.. i cried everynight.. not because i am not a strong guy or anything.. but it's just that i always feel so empty without her.. i am suffering through all the pain she once go through.. the pain which the one u love so much isn't coming back to u anymore..

i wanted to move on.. but i can't let go of her.. she's always a baby in my heart.. someone i have to take care of.. someone for me to love.. someone i need to give happiness to..

no matter what, she has moved on.. so must i .. i dun wanna drag anyone into this thing.. i have implicate lots of my friends into this.. thanks to all the ppl who have listen to my sorrows, accompany me drinking.. talking me to sense that she will never come back to me.. telling me that i will only suffer if i continue like this..

i need to move on as well.. and i know i will.. i know i have cause her enough pain.. and the only way to give her happiness now is to let her go.. let her find someone who can really treat her with all the love and respect that she needs..

as for me.. i just have to finish my army days, finish my degree.. in the meanwhile.. enjoying with all my friends.. i don't wanna get into another relationship just yet.. cause i know.. the space in my heart that she have left behind, no one could ever cover it.. only time will heals.. and i know it will take a v long time..

once again.. sorry baby
zW

New Year 2009

2009-01-01T11:57:00.003+08:00

2008 is finally over, it wasn't a good year as there were too much happenings that occured.

Army, relationships, money and etc.

Well, 2009 has come, i really hope that it will be a better year..

The 2008 concluded with a very bad way for me.. Bel... doesn't wants me anymore..
I book out yesterday, telling myself not to tink of her, not to call her. But my heart just miss her badly.. i know she was at boonlay countdown, i went down there eventually..

i was hoping that i could see her.. talk to her.. so i call her.. she said she's standing beside the stage but was busy.. moments later, the countdown starts, 2009 has arrived.. fireworks display started and i was thinking to myself, one year back, i was spending the new year with her.. one year later, i am spending it, without her..

i went to the back of the stage.. and i saw her.. i was squeezing in the crowd.. trying to take a few glimspe of her.. i called her again, it was too noisy and she wasn't able to listen to wad i say.. happy new year was the words i heard from her.. and then we hang upthe phone.. it's time to go ... i walked away feeling so miserable. i feel so empty in my heart..

i called her sister, telling her that her jiejie doesn;t wan me anymore.. and informing her to take care of bel.. she told me that if bel's mine, she will come back to me eventually..

i dunno abt that.. i know that my chances are very very low.. she has moved on .. without me... shoud i let her go..? everybody is telling me to let her go since it's over.. but deep down in my heart , i know that i dun wanna give up just yet.. i dun wanna lose her.. i need her ..

yes, it will be painful for me.. i know.. but i can't stop myself from loving her.. i know there's totally nothing i can do to win back her heart.. but to pray for miracles to happen.. i know many ppl will think that i am dumb..

i will be just like wad i did yesterday, being a shadow of you, looking at you, loving u but hiding at the corner, not obstructing you to your new life.. just wanna see the happiness in ur smile.. and that will be my new year resolution.

Lost everything

2008-12-14T03:40:00.002+08:00

It's been long since i last blog..
Anyway, for those who don't know.. i have POP already..

currently having my blog leave.. yea.. not a very good one.. going through some of the toughest time of my life..

soon i will know my vocation.. should be going to OCS.. which is not a very nice place actually.. it's tough training there.. and suffer a lot.. yea.. but nothing that i can do becoz other choices won't be any much difference..

baby is not coming back to me anymore.. she's letting me go.. she doesn't need me anymore.. but.. suddenly, i need her.. a lot.. i feel something is leaving my life.. someone i cannot do without with.. is it really over.. how can i make u come back to me.. back to the times we are one lovely sweet couple. i don't even know how to let her go..

life's really tough .. obstacles comes after one another.. i am afraid i might break down one day.. i might not be able to make the distance.. i dun have the strong mentality anymore.. i am really giving up on everything.. i seems to be losing everything in my life... my aim.. my baby.. my life..

It's over

2008-12-12T16:15:00.001+08:00

Its Not Over - Secondhand Serenade

2nd book out

2008-11-01T04:49:00.002+08:00

yea.. is my second book out..

it's my dad birthday too.. so gave him a suprise by turning up for dinner .. haha.. he was happy.. so am i .. alright.. next week i having field camp.. shit.. better dun rain.. lol ..

came home den met up with shiwei and wen hao.. went to play bowling again.. yea.. i won again.. lol .. seems fun to play bowling.. though expensive but always enjoyable.. won't tink so much abt problems that i have..

yea.. treat her like a fren now.. sometimes dun even wan to call or sms her.. dunno why.. yes.. she is my motivation.. she helps me through my days.. but sometimes i juz wonder why am i doing all this to myself.. why muz i suffer becoz of her when she dun even care abt how i feel.. no point being so devoted when she doesn't even appreaciate at all.. i just be a fren to her ..

yes, motivation comes from her.. but i wun push over the line.. i dun wanna make myself into a state whereby my life depends on her..

OCS seems to be the choice.. but i am really very scare abt how it will affect my next 1 year.. it's going to be tough.. but i really do not know whether i will want that kind of life.. i dunno.. but seems like there is no other way out.. oh god.. give me some wisdom to make my choice..

sometimes i may be too selfish .. keep thinking abt myself.. nv consider abt other ppl feelings.. am i juz passing through motion by doing all this or do i really mean it.. i really dunno..

First book out

2008-10-27T03:21:00.002+08:00

Alright, this is my first book out.. suppose to feel very happy..

but tt's not the case..

On friday, i went home and ate my dinner, met up with som frens and have supper..
Sat.. went out with joyce the whole day.. suddenly, i feel she's really bored by the things i do.. though she gets to watch her high school musical.. but rest of the day was like nothing fascinating.

i ask her about whether should i go ocs or not.. she says if i can of coz go.. i was thinking to myself.. if i go, it just means the i need to let go of loving u... on the way sending her back.. we din talk..
she bakes me a cake.. but it just means frens to her.. nothing more..
i msg her today.. asking abt everything.. and eventually, she still sticks to wad she say.. all she can say is sorry.. all she can say is frens.. i am saying goodbye to her.. but is it that easy to forget.. i dun tink so..
she's sorry for giving me false hopes.. but i dun blame her.. i blame myself for loving her.. i blame myself for thinking there's opportunity.. i blame myself for beliving the impossible..

i am feeling very depressed right now.. the thought of going to book in tml.. the thought of 'no more joyce' now i won't look forward to admin time in camp anymore..i won't be calling her anymore.. no more motivation at all.. she's like my motivation throughout my confinement.. but now.. i m left with nothing.. my heart juz sinks, though i know it will come sooner or later.. but why miracle won't happen..

well.. seems like going ocs is the choice.. i am not allowed to post anything abt army.. so , yea.. but truely, i am not enjoying myself in there.

joyce.. i seriously love u.. i put all my heart to care , to love u.. even if u dun appreciate it.. but do u know that my feelings, emotion has been swinging up and down for nothing.. one moment i am feeling happy becoz u care for me.. another moment u just neglect me.. i am jus another guy to u.. nothing much.. v lil u thought abt how i would feel..

i miss u .. right at this moment.. but nothing can be done.. i need to forget u .. but tt's like climbing over mountains in the winter.. i just don't like my life .. not at all.. the way it is going, it seems pointless.. without u, life's like a sky without stars..

pls.. dun let me have sleepless nights..

missing u

booking in

2008-10-09T09:05:00.001+08:00

alright guys.. i am booking in .. leaving the house now..

all of u take good care k ..

gonna miss all of u .. =)

last day of civilian life

2008-10-09T01:07:00.002+08:00

this going be my last post.. for at least 2 weeks..
yes.. i am going in army tml.. nothing that i can do to change the fact..

glad to meet up my best frens..
darwin, wen hao, alan, wei siong, jin hong
my sisters
kai xin, steph, xin yi, steph, min feng, chun hui

yea.. thanks for coming.. thanks for all of ur companion.. i appreaciate it..

well.. she found out that i like her.. she suddenly sms me and ask me whether do i like her or not.
i told her yes..
she den tell me that she doesn't wan to step into another relationship rite now.. plus she was afraid that it will end up and gary and her..

whatever she says. i expected it.. i dun expected her to be with me.. if she does, it just shows that she is taking me as a subsititute perherps. i glad she din..
however, she lets me to continue loving her.. juz like what i have been doing.. i am glad things is going this way .. at least she din juz end my feeling.. she just dun wanna give me false hopes..

i mean.. nobody is going to know what's going to happen in future.. mayb we will still remain like what we are now, or being rejected by her.. or mayb being together.. nobody knows... but at least i still have the right to love her, be there for her.. care for her as always.. i am still hopeful of being with her.. but it doesn't matter what's the ending going to be like.. i am going to juz enjoy the process.. the companionship.. the care and concern i get from her.. the way of me loving her.. making her smile.. being there for her when she needs..

i saw this phrase from a email.. i was tinking abt it and yea.. it's quite true..

能選擇要不要喜歡上一個人或愛上一個人嗎？喜歡上了，愛上了，就是了。

few more hours and i am going to book in.. i am not afraid of going in. so as it is then..

though u can't see this but yea

joyce,

thanks for settlting my heart before i goes in army.. at least i won't be thinking too much i guess..
thanks for being there... thanks for the concern u shown me.. thanks for the time we had.. and finally , thanks for letting me loving u ..
i just wan that smile on ur face, i want u to be happy, even if it is without me.. u derserve to be happy.. since i have fall in love with u , it's out of my own accord to care for u .. make u happy.. hopefully i am doing it.
really just wan u to take care and stay happy as always..

off to tekong!

last day!

2008-10-08T01:52:00.002+08:00

Oh gosh.. just one day left.. lol .. why am i counting down.. nvm .. last day to countdown..

anyway.. yea.. so glad that i spend today with her..

she came to my hse and it was raining heavily.. she wanted to watch big stan so i stream and let her watch lor.. though i watch b4 but quite enjoyable watching with her.. come to think of it i have nv watch movie with her b4..

but it's ok.. gave her the present.. her fav baileys.. she was like so happy la.. deep inside me i was happy to see her so happy.. having that sweet smile on her face.. after that went to town .. orchard.. went to cineleisure.. wanted to buy her a tigger.. but she dun wan.. so i have no choice.. we walk ard talking nonsense .. chit chatting.. mostly abt her fren being crazy .. getting drunk all this.. lol .. den we end up at coffee club.. she was like.. oh man .. it's like so high class or sth.. haha..

hmm .. now i know she likes dory fish and mushroom soup..get to chat with her a lot today .. eat mudpie.. haha.. i like the mudpie.. but i was not really sure how she finds it.. after that.. we decided to go arab street for shesha? haha.. we went to a place.. hmm .. very cozy, dim lighting and so peaceful.. i juz lie beside her.. locking my eyes on her whenever i can .. felt so blessed beside her.. yea.. though she dun realise but it's really like so good to be juz lying beside her.. slping on her shoulder.. yea. we tasted the mango at first..was nothing much .. but after that, we meet up with ws, jon , weiwen and siong gf.. went to shesha again .. haha.. this time we tried the grapemint.. not bad.. better than the previous.. lol ..

hopefully she enjoyed herself.. i enjoyed myself with her.. her companion makes me feel so great.. it's like i always want to be with her the whole day .. finally did it before my army.. though she's unaware of anything but seriously.. i am so so glad spending today with her.. though is short but sweet enough for me to dull the whole of the night thinking abt it.. how i wish she could be mine.. but that sounds impossible.. shud i tell her.. i really dunno .. she's still care so much for gary.. she told me she can't let go gary .. i was like.. hmm .. yea..

sent her home.. in the cab.. i tink she mention something like sworn sister or something.. urgh.. shit.. that's wad i dun wan to hear.. i dunno she means it or wad.. i juz pretend i nv hear.. seriously, its like a bullet str to ur heart.. but i kept my feelings away from my face.. still wanna love her and care for her .. while i still can ...

oh man.. 2 days

2008-10-07T03:26:00.002+08:00

2 Days to tekong

Who free on thursday? wanna go chalet? at tekong.. free food, lots of activities.. big chalet! sea view.. lol ..anyone interested pls call me.. lol ..

Yea.. she finally finish her exams.. happy for her.. den she went out with gary.. thought that they will talk things out.. so i din msg her. till around 10 plus.. she msg me saying that she is drinking at her fren hse. oh man.. she told me the date with gary din turn out so well .. i was wondering.. she told me she cried.. hais..

den i suggested driving her home.. so i went to pick her up at lakepoint condo.. she came down.. abit crazy .. den she told me that gary told her that. if she finds someone better , just go ahead.. i was thinking.. isn't this wad i said to bel.. oh gosh... i was also thinkng.. yea.. i am better.. lol .. come come.. but .. am i really better.. i am not sure.. so i drove her to spc to buy some water for her to freshen her up .. she ask me.. am i being very mean to you.. i was thking... in some way yes.. in some way .. not at all..

the things i've done for her is all on my accord.. she never force me to do it.. so she's not being mean to me..
but she's mean to me by keep telling me abt gary gary gary.. how are they .. wad happen to them .. din she realise that she hurts me by saying all those stuff.. i don't blame her.. coz she's unaware of it.. how i wish i can really take care of her.. i wan to love her openly.. telling her in the face i love her.. but i can't. i know in her heart is only abt him him and him .. there's no place for me at all .. yea. indeed .. i felt hurt.. u r such a meanie..

drove her home den i went back.. but decided to look for oreo .. went to bel hse.. play with oreo... getting naughtier each day.. then bel started to cry again .. hais.. i really think is my fault in causing all this unhappiness.. why the person u love doesn't even give a place to u while the person u wan to forget put u on the first place.. love is so complicated..

joyce.. i wanna tell u so much that i love u .. i love ur companion.. i love ur crazyness.. i love to take care of u .. but i have no chance at all.. i am going in army.. worse than any situaiton.. after i go in .. i lost the right to take care of u .. lost the right to be there for u .. lost the right to contact u thru out the day .. all i can do is spend a few mins to sms u .. in a day..

some of my frens said, what if u get her.. can u take care of her.. make her happy , while u were in army.. i was thinking.. yea.. not much difference with gary.. however, i am different.. at least whenever i have the chance to talk to u , sms u , or even find u .. i will.. i want you to feel loved.. not neglected.. but that's a selfish thought.. i tink u suffered enough.. that's why i can't force myself to tell u how i feel .. it's always right at the tip of my mouth but i know u don't deserve anymore unhappiness and problems..

TAGS
chunhui: i go army den u have to listen to the same old song everytime until i book out! lol

omg omg

2008-10-06T05:09:00.002+08:00

Woah.. 3 days left.. feel so crap now..

well.. what will happen will happen eventually.. so might as well faster go in army and get over and done with.. hmm.. yea.. going this thursday.. nobody sendin me i guess.. it's alright..

dad scolded me for being so late out at night.. i mean.. let me enjoy my last few days can.. stop scolding me and understand the sake of enjoying.. lol..

i really dunno wad's she thinking.. just wanna her to be happy.. even if she goes back to him .. as long as shes happy and not the way she is now den is alright.. ok .. u are meeting gary tml... make sure both of u have a lovely date k.. hopefully both of u can talk things out and come back together. since both of u love each other so much .. nothing shud be more impt than each other.

hopefully gary learn the needs of having her.. stop neglecting her.. treat her like the most impt person in ur life.. not ur frens, not ur buddies.. but her.. dun let her into this kind of situation again .. u r the only one she loves.. that's why u shud take responsibility of her happiness.. not me.. if i can i will but her heart is with u ! say so much u also cannot read from my blog. lol .. hopefully gary gets to see this.. argh!

gonna get shave botak for the 1st time in my life.. well not for the first time.. baby also botak.. lol .. but now.. eeeww.. how would i look like.. another army guy .. yes.. i am going to hell this thursday.. go there yes sir no sir.. lol .. be a dumb person and get out.. 2 weeks .. i wouldn't mind 2 weeks of chalet.. but.. yea.. luckily i pass my napfa.. if not another 2 months to my 1 year 10 month of army.. aiming for OCS i guess.. since i have no commitment .. no gf.. no contract .. no nothing.. so yup..

TAGS
kx.. u better dun anyhow sms hor
zg.. if i bring out sar 21 i will come and see u ..
chunhui.. are the songs nice? lol .. u come here listen songs not read my post ar..@!#$%^&

i dun wanna see u sad..

2008-10-05T04:45:00.002+08:00

They have broken up.. i thought they will still continue coz i know joyce still loves him a lot..
but gary gives her no choice.. how do u wan joyce to wait for u 2 and a half years and feel neglected.

i dun tink i wanna post much abt them anymore..
i have just 4 days left.. juz 4 days before i my life start into another phase..
i juz know the only thing i cannot put behind is her..
but there's no point thinking anymore coz surely her heart is still with him.
i dun wanna drag myself into this thing anymore..
i am feeling hurt.. i have emo enuff.. i dun wanna think anymore..
i just wan to get in army and get over and done with..

it's never abt me

2008-10-04T06:37:00.002+08:00

5 days left.. seriously lil time remaining..

found out that she loves her bf a lot.. and her bf is suggesting for becoming frens.. i really do not know what to do.. it's never abt me .. i shouldn't have care..

but i cares for her.. i wan her to be happy.. that's why i give her the advice i tink is right.. not to regret abt the decision shes going to make.. she said she will call me .. but never did, mayb she have sort out her feelings..

if she and her bf is back to normal.. i wish them a happy and long lasting relationship.. that's the only ting i can do.. not even thinking abt telling her my feelings as she is really not in the right situation to know..

To Gary: YOU BETTER TREAT HER NICELY!

well.. i have put myself into this hole.. for nothing.. so no point blaming anyone but myself.. i should never have try.. but since it has already happen.. i will try to put it behind me.. but i dun tink i can forget her juz like tis.. 1st week of army is going to be hell..

why.? coz alan has confirm with me that i am in Cougar. the most high demanding company in School 1 BMT. plus, i will still miss her, tink abt her everyday everynight.. how shit can it be to start my army life..

but yea, i know i can take it.. face it as i always do.. but it's juz so hurtful.. why i put myself into this position for nothing. all along u treat me as a fren .. someone who helps u and support u thru the hard times.. but never the one u will want as ur partner.. i know i am dumb.. to have fall in love with you

i could have play as a bad guy.. breaking u and him up.. but that's not me.. i always believe that is not just abt what i wanna get.. i really rather i end up being the one hurt than making u hurt.. since u love him so much .. i'll really pray for both of u.. coz i wan u to smile .. always..

i want to cry, but tears juz can't roll out.. my chest is feeling the tightness.. i have hope for nothing much .. but why is it still so painful.. why am i feeling so shit.. is it becoz i really fall in love with u so much.. or is it jus me being stupid.. i really dunno..

but whateva it is.. this is the outcome.. i tried so hard to make sure u stay happy, with support.. but u never notice that i have feelings for u .. that's why i am suffering.. but even if u know.. i know i wouldn't stand a single chance..

all the best for u and gary.. hopefully both of u have settled it out and love each other like before.. and for me.. nvm .. it's never abt me..

decision has to be make

2008-10-03T05:58:00.002+08:00

less than a week left.. i still have not make up my decision whether wad to do .. how i wish she could just read it from my blog.. den i wouldn't need to tink that much..

well ..
current situation is..

i have less than a week left before i go in army..
she is still having her exams till monday
she has gary ..
but i wan to know whether she have feelings for me...
i am really not sure wad to do..
if i ask too late den in the end i will suffer in army..
if i ask today den i am afraid i will make the wrong choice..
i really dunno wad to do..

i love her companion.. love sms-ing her.. love being loved and cared by her..
do i just need another person juz becoz i am single ..
i dun tink so.. if i just need someone, i could have bel.. or xm..
but i wan joyce..

2nd thing.. if she accepted me, how am i able going to give her happiness..
i am being unfair to her as i am in army.. she would not get the attention she wans..
plus, she still have gary in her heart.. mayb i am just a replacement for her.. i really dunno..
but whatever it is.. i dun expect the ending to be good.. no matter what, i will not be abe to enjoy my 2 weeks of confinement in army.. coz i know.. i will be missing her.. if she reject me, i will be heartbroken inside my camp.. so hell it is..

i really wans to know whether she have feeling for me.
or issit she just likes me as a friend..
or she likes me but never intend to be with me..
or she is just using me to make gary jealous..

when am i going to ask her.. i dunno either.. i wish i could get the answer faster.. but she's having exams.. i dun wan to be selfish and make her think abt it while she is stress with her exams..
but if i ask too late.. , no matter what she say won't be fruitful..

so i guess it's over.. i tink i'll just start be prepared for the worst..
she have rejected me before anyway.. so one more doesn't make any difference..
how i wish i can tink that way.. but i really do love her and wants to take care of her..

TAGs
hi xiu... =)
kaixin... don't be funny ar..

one step closer.. but never reaching

2008-10-02T02:40:00.002+08:00

Woke up at 10 today den meet joyce!!

brought her to vivo den to labodor park and we sit down and have mac together.. hees.. sweet rite.. sitting by the sea breeze .. playing with bubbles.. walking abt.. talking to each othe.r. awww.. i love that feeling.. i teached her how to fix rubik cube.. lol.. though she have master yet.. haha

Anyway.. yea.. got drunk today... drink quite a lot.. den anyhow msg her.. but it's truely from my heart..not exactly anyhow la.. but just telling her how much i value her.. yup.. she din react negatively.. tat's a good sign? haha.. but my time is running out..

7 days left.. one week exactly.. hais.. pls someone stop the time..

i miss her badly.. so bad..

oh ya.. me and sw pee into the canal.. lol.. i win.. i shoot further.. =x

yea.. she cares for me.. and i love the feeling.. shud i just be contented for what i have now.. or shud i really make her mine.. i really dunno..

u guys nv read my blog rite! !@#$%^&* .. dun post den u all know.. ARGH!

ARGH.. 8 MORE DAYS!

2008-10-01T05:59:00.002+08:00

8 MORE DAYS GUYS..

lol.. i keep counting down.. hais.. wad to do.. this army thinng is always at my back my mind..

Today started very badly.. recieve a msg ..

"WAYNE! I MISS GARY BUT I HAVE TO WAIT TO MONDAY TO SEE HIM" in caps.

wad the hell.. the moment i see this.. i am out of my bed.. no mood to do anything anymore..
sit on the sofa and stare into the tv.. which is a show that i never watch.. i am stoning away..

play some dota with jem , soon they all.. den went for bball.. darwin suddenly cannot make it den left me jem and gs.. lol.. so lil ppl play bbal.. after that sw and darwin join us at je.. not forgetting kx and dy .. lol..

i hurt my leg while i was playing bball.. land on someone's leg..
i told joyce abt it and guess wad..
she cares for me! lol.. was quite happy when i recieve the msg..
'Aiyo, poor thing' was the first msg
'den you don't play alrdy la. go home rest k?' 2nd msg

den when i tell her that i was limping..
she sent me this.
'aiyo , sayang, ask ur fren to carry u la'

haha.. super happy to see all this msg.
den it was raining.. den i told her not to get drench
and she said
'you better dont drench too k..'
den i say i am already drench
she says
'lol.. you better don't get sick ar.. still got air con place..'

i can say this is the first time she show so much concern for me.. lol.. but yea..
maybb just for her fren.. that's all.. but better than nothing ba. hees..

ok guys.. left 8 days of blogging.. u guys got read not.. never tag i dun post for the next 8 days le..lol
nites

no time left

2008-09-30T02:58:00.002+08:00

i left freaking 9 more days before going into army.. ARGH.. shit.. time really flies.. i have yet finish my thesis for my graduation.. lol .. dun intend to do.. so many words.. it's killing me..

today went KBOX with darwin, alan, lian hong and shiwei.. sing till we all throat pain.. last song.. we sing peng you. lol.. stand together.. sing together.. really going to miss the times i have with them when i enter army.. although we will still be frens.. but won't be able to go out as much as usual le.. well .. enjoyed my times.. now looking forward to army. lol. not really

she has start her first day of exams.. what i heard from her is that she's not doing really well.. not really sure.. hopefully everything is alright..

today she told me that Gary has not been giving enough attention to her.. not treating her as how he used to.. what does Gary actually wans.. why don't he just treasure what he has.. he shouldn't be contented about it and just neglect her feelings..

i bet she's feeling really terrible .. some more is her exams.. i really dunno wad to do.. i cant let my feelings be heard... she's having her exams and i am going in army.. what a bad combo for the days ahead.. just wan to see her happy before i go in army.. her smiles is enough to go in army with no troubles

F1 Race

2008-09-29T03:50:00.002+08:00

Wo0Ho0.. Watch F1 just now.. it was freaking loud and fast. Luckily i went down and watch, if not i will regret it. It was so loud that everytime a car went pass, i could feel my ear drums screaming for help. lol ..

Me , shiwei, wen hao , guan soon went down to watch.. but only me and shiwei interested. lol

GUESS WAD! i am using my new desktop blogging now! YEA! lol .. bought it for ard 1 k. the specs not bad.. got 5 year warranty.. haha. i am so satisfied with this com. my lappy days are over!

10 days remaining!! ARGH!! someone pls stop the time.. i am going crazy just by counting down. shit man. i am not worried abt going, i am worried that i will miss her badly. gosh.. i will become crazy man.. that bloody 2 weeks of confinement sure will kill me.. sob...

i have a great time talking and msg-ing with her today.. i hope everyday can at least be like this.. but when army days come.. forget abt even talking on phone for long. not even sms-ing for long.. guess i'll just have to suffer..

11 Days

2008-09-28T02:57:00.002+08:00

Shit man, dun wanna count down the days to army but when it comes to the end of the day, i will start wondering how much days i've left. ok..

11 DAYS!

shit. lol .. i wanna go watch F1 ! must go.. dun care.. go alone also must go , rarely got chance to watch. oh ya.. tml i will be getting a new com! hopefully! haha. new desktop! yea.. u guys must be wondering why i going in army still wan to get a new desktop.. ok.. sorry lappy, u have been sick for so long and it's time for desktop to replace lappy. haha

ok .. emo part.. sorry if u dun like to read, but the reason i added u guys is becoz i know u guys will understand and read and console me mayb .. haha.. hmm.. been drinking these few days.. almost like everyday, ok.. i dun drink much coz i dun wanna get drunk.. i just feel like drinking when i tink of her.. hais.. some more i going in army.. no much time to settle the problem.. mayb it's not a problem at all.. it's just me being nonsense to fall for her again.. i realy dunno.. but i really like the feeling of being with her..

lobster msg me and ask me whether have i forget abt my ex.. why suddenly i like her...
all i can tell her is i have already long forget abt bel.. as she have really really disappoint me.. yes, though bel may be waiting for me.. but i knoww we will never be together again.. i dun see myself being with her again anymore. as for joyce.. yea... some of u may think is becoz i am going in army and i need someone.. i can tell u no.. it's not a crush, not tt i need someone.. it's just that i really do have feelings for her.. i really wanna take care of her when gary doesn't wan to .. mayb like jonathan says i am just a rebound for joyce.. mayb when gary is not giving attention to her den she will turn to me.. i dun mind.. i rather she treat me this way then ignore me totally... which may happen if i am going to tell her my feelings..

jt told me that i shudn't drag this as when i go into army i will be suffering from it.. but , how do u wan me to salvage this problem.. do i just let it go.. i want to spend my days with her before my army comes.. yea.. sad...

12 days and counting down

2008-09-27T08:52:00.003+08:00

12 days to Army!

Oh no .. just this 12 more days and i am dead.. lol
from what i know, i will end up in Company A,B,C or D.
They told me C is the worse.. as in the toughest.. well. should i pray for easy or challenging?

F1 weekend! yea.. i've been watching F1 since i was in primary school.. now they are finally in singapore, but i do not know whether can i get a glimpse of them in action. hopefully i can get to see and experience..

LOBSTER! DON'T TELL THIS TO UR COUSIN!

Talk to her on the phone yesterday, hmm . she was not really entertained by me.. rather i feel that she juz talk to me for the sake of talking to me.. what she wans is to talk to Gary i suppose.. i dun like being third party, i tink is not even consider as a third party as i am just hiding behind her quietly. i can't even let her know my feelings, coz i tink she is really in love with Gary.

When she told me about Gary msg-ing another gal, i was thinking how can he treat her like this.. he shouldn't be hiding all this things from her. i felt angry, however, at the other hand, happy. happy that u came to me and ask for advice, taking me as a listener. but i guess i am just these roles in ur life.

Am i praying for them to break-up? actually the answer is no.. i can feel that she wans to have a long-lasting, happy and beautiful relationship with him. that's why every advice i gave her is really impartial, i did not biased against Gary, in some way i helped him.. i really dunno what to do..

mayb i really deserve all this pain, all this retribution. it's really time for me to enter army.
when i see u that morning, it really makes my day, when u care for me, i feel so loved. when u r not around, i miss u badly. but all boils down to one conclusion, i am just having a one-sided love.
mayb this is enuff.. i tink i really will miss u when i go in army.

-zW- NS pls BRAINWASH ME!

Army!

2008-09-25T12:05:00.003+08:00

14 more days to Army.

New Life
New Blogskin
New Link

I chose this skin is becoz it really relate to how i feel right now..
i wanna tell her that i love her but i know that's not possible.

Secondly, is becoz both Pon & Zi is BOTAK . lol.. and i am going to be one too.. so.. lol..

anyway, i change new link is becoz is only for ppl who i believe i can share my feelings with=)

Enjoy
Any one wanna me to link pls tag den=)

2008-09-13T22:30:00.001+08:00

Well-a you done done me

And you bet I felt it

I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted

I fell right through the cracks and now I'm trying to get back

Before the cool done run out I'll be giving it my bestest

And nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention

I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some

But I won't hesitate no more, no more

It cannot wait, I'm yours

Mmmmhmmm-Mmmmhhmmm, Mmmmmhmmm(Heeeeey heeeey)

Well open up your mind and see like me

Open up your plans and damn you're free

I look into your heart and you'll find love love love love

Listen to the music of the moment, people dance and sing

We're just one big family

And it's our God-forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved loved

So I won't hesitate no more, no more

It cannot wait, I'm sure

There's no need to complicate, our time is short

This is our fate, I'm yours

(Scatting)Do you want to come on?

Scooch on over closer dear, I'll whisper in your ear

Wo-ooo-o-oh who-oo-o-o-oh

Oh yes love, love love love love love

Love you love, love you love

I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror

And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer

But my breath fogged up the glass

And so I drew a new face and I laughed

I guess what I be saying is there ain't no better reason

To rid yourself of vanities and just go with the seasons

It's what we aim to do, our name is our virtue

But I won't hesitate no more, no more

It cannot wait, I'm yours

Open up your mind and see like me(I won't hesitate)

Open up your plans and damn you're free(No more, no more)

I look into your heart and you'll find that the sky is yours(It cannot wait, I'm sure)

So please don't, (please don't, please don't)

There's no need(There's no need to complicate)

There's no need to complicate(Our time is short)

'Cause our time is short(This is our fate)

This is oh, this is oh, this is our fateI'm yo-o-o-o-ooo-ours

Ahhh

Army

2008-09-12T00:48:00.002+08:00

In less than a month, i will be going in for army..

Yea, getting a bit emo here.. i am absolutely fine with going in army but with the problems currently in hand. i am afraid that i will soon be suffering..

There are many choices in life... which one to choose and which one not to is not as easier as 1+1

i'm really troubled.. so many choices in front of me.. but none seems favourable

one of the road , isn't fruitful at all at the back of the road.
one of the road, totally not easy to walk as i do not know what's at the end
one of the road, which is making a U-turn but knowing things will never change
one of the road, walking alone admiring the scenery but can't take a part of it.

lastly, should i just walk onto a road which doesn't need an ending.

after so much , i tink it's really time to make a decision. i dun wanna carry this problem on my back anymore. i dun wan to behave so selfish anymore. i have walk onto the wrong path, hurting all the people in process.

i shud just stop all the nonsense, not pulling them down with me.

Since, i am going in army, i dun tink i am being fair to anyone if i were to continue.
i deserve to bear this consequences. i deserve to suffer this ending. i dun wan to let it affect anyone anymore.

-YzW- why did i choose that path which i know was never the right one

Over

2008-08-20T00:12:00.003+08:00

19th Aug 2008.

If we are still together, we will be celebrating 1 year together.

u sms me and tell me to find some one better.
den u call me and ask me whether do i wan u back.
i know u are drunk.
i know i have hurt u.
but like u said, it's over.

when you tell me that u din tell me those things when we are together, i was really feeling so pissed. coz ur few words just destroy the 11months of being together with u.

u make me feel that the relationship we have is not really fascinating at all. just becoz u told me the truth only yesterday. after that.. i tink mayb it's really over.

i couldn't find any excuse or reason to make myself trust u again.
since u wan to destroy ur life, go ahead. go back to ur old life. i couldn't care less anymore.
you don't love yourself , why do i need to love u .

i have love you deeply , but now, u r a different gal to me.. totally different. i don't know you at all. you r no longer the gal i once love most.

u din cherish me at all, u din consider abt my feelings at times. u betrayed my trust.
for those reason, i could have left u .
but it's only for wad u are doing now, i am really leaving you.

still
i am sorry that i have make u lose so much things, maybe even ur frens.
i am sorry that i have hurt u
i am sorry that i din stay by ur side forever
i am sorry that i have really break ur heart

we are really from two different world, i always deny that and that's my fault.

but u din give me a chance when u chose not to tell me so much abt ur past which as a bf i shud know.

you said i shud find some one better, and hopefully u do that as well.

since i am going army, and i will move on from there. you move on from urs as well.
learn how to let go

take care. .

-YzW- It's Over

I'm feeling so not myself

2008-08-13T04:25:00.002+08:00

i'm feeling so troubled rite now..

i got myself into a situation.. one that i never want to enter..

i just want a simple life..

why are people in my life making so difficult for me..

why can't i be selfish and hack care abt all of u ...

why do i have to put all of u infront of myself..

why issit that i need to take the hit instead of u ppl..

there's no much explaination.. but.. i just love u ppl more than myself..
i always want to get the best for u ppl.. i want u ppl to live ur life meaningfully..
but i dunno how much can i hold on..
all of u are my love ones..
those that i can give my life for..
i just want to pray to God that you guys can treasure your lives..
live it the correct way.. stay happy.. the smile on all ur faces always makes me feel that i have accomplish my goal of enhancing all of ur lives..
but human nature is just so cruel.. all of u always expect more..
i dunno how much more i can offer.. i may collapse one day..
i don't even know whether my happiness have been rob..
i am not an angel.
i am not a genius.
i have countless problem in my head as well.

i have been always acting strong in front of everyone.
coz i always believe that i can solve every single problem that comes to me.
but sometimes i wonder am i being too strong-headed..
am i actually a weak person which just try to be strong.
i feel weak at times.. times when i feel that i am just standing beside the cliff.
life is full of choices.. and i have made lots and lots of decisive choices..
but there is always more to come.

can i really take it? i just wants to clear my mind. live like a small children with no problems.
but i know it's impossible..
i will hold on..
i believe in myself.
so all my love ones. believe in me.

-YzW- believe

PIU

2008-08-05T22:37:00.002+08:00

anyone knows the meaning of PIU? lol.. actualli it's a arcade game.. lol .. pump it up.. something like DDR.. but got 5 buttons instead of 4..

oh man.. i wasn't really interested till xin man call me to try.. den i get addicted to it.. ok .. not really addicted but have fun playing it la. lol... learn lots of stuns ..wahhaha... it's easy to attract crowd playing that..

easier than playing the shoot bball with darwin.. but.. i still need lots of practice and time to become a pro.. will i be able to do it? lol.. God knows..

Well.. these few days have been quite weird.. becoz i go home everyday early.. yea.. dad keep calling me to go home early.. well .. being a good son not to let my parents worry .. i have to do so .. lol .. my human clock is back to normal.. meaning i slp at night play in the day.. previously was play in the night slp in the day .. wahahaha ..

darwin going to taiwan tml.. dun go touch gals k .. don't think got ten second rule den u safe le hor.. lol.. wait u cannot come back den u know.. lol .. darwin mei you le!!

recently just went clubbing with jiting, he's still botak. lol . went drinking with him .. wahahah ... talk with him .. telling my problems and he gave me answers to my problem.. not really answers but advice and suggestion..

thought i go home early recently.. still did go out with zhen guang and have supper.. hmm .. guess he needs company now as jason went in army le.. no more supper kaki with him .. lol ..well.. i dun mind being a replacement.. coz i always get hungry at night .. lol .. mayb later msg him ask him wan go nort

hmm .. pass my Napfa with flying colours.. lol

Pull-up - 3
2.4km - 4
standing broad jump -5
situp- 5
sit and reach - 5
shuttle run -5

total 27/30 GOLD.. lol

din know i still can do so well after i never train at all .. ok .. mayb there's still some bits and pieces of muscle left in me.. haha.. better keep that with me if not i will look like a bamboo soon...

but.. since i am going army soon.. yea.. muscle will be back.. awww.. army.. stupid thing.. argh..

yup.. i am single now.. broke off with baby.. tough decision but life is full of choices .. it takes thr right path towards success in life but it takes just one wrong step to live with regrets.. wad eva it is.. we shall see.. i not really sure yet. but things are definitely going to be better as i really wants to meet my plans that i have for myself for the next 10 years.. lol ..

-YzW- PIU ! improve improve!

It's so hard to take

2008-07-28T04:32:00.003+08:00

My relationship with baby is over.. all but over.. i feeling so depressed rite now.. i am wondering why am i deserving this.. but in fact.. maybe i really deserve this..

I broken up with her.. i made the break.. am i being dumb or stupid.. mayb most of u will tink i am dumb..

more and more of my frens are going into army.. and soon i'll be next.. i wonder how will my baby's life be when i am going in .. she will be alone.. on weekends she may have to work.. when she need me.. i can't be there.. i am facing a situation whereby shud we suffer now or later.. i do not want to wait for one year den break.. as it will be more hurtful..

Baby, mayb i am being selfish.. i miss u a lot.. right now.. at this moment.. i still want u by my side.. after so much we been thru.. i have to give u up now.. i really do not have much choice.. i dun wan to see u suffer.. u are the one i love so much .. after so much .. i know if i leave u out there alone, u will be lonely and need support.. me being as a bf cannot offer anything to you.. and obviously is nothing coz in army i cannot do anything.. u have great frens around u .. alex, thomas, kyla, jeffery , and much more.. i believe they can provide u the companionship u need as they are very supportive.. u have ur freedom without me.. u can do wadeva u wan , and not let my sensitivity stop u..

i am still wearing the ring .. the ring which pact us together as one.. i dun wan to lose u but things is not under our control.. i have to let u go .. which i really dun wan to.. it took me almost a month to make this decision.. or even later if u din ask me abt it.. i dun wanna lose u .. u r my precious person on this earth.. why do i have to go army.. why made me make this decision.. why make me serve ns when i am not a singaporean.. who the fuck make this rule that even me have to serve.. i feeling so pain right now.. but still i cannot find any solution to keep u by my side.. unless i bring u out of this country.. which is totally not feasible..

baby.. i cherish the times we had together.. u r the gal i love the most ever.. i read thru our joint blog just now, i cried like never before, i seriously dun wan to leave u .. really.. all the things we have done.. all the effort we had put in , all the memories we had.. it is just making even more painful to leave you..

and now u are hating me for doing this.. mayb u tink i have no faith in u , no trust in u .. you can blame me, but i really have no confidence in this relationship when i go in army.. it will not take just any effort to sustain. it take tons of effort to sustain.. which mayb i can't even meet the requirement. i am losing faith.. losing my confidence. losing my direction.. i am a lousy bf... someone u dun deserve.. i will be a burden for u.. a unneccsary burden in ur life..

i miss those times.. every single thing we do, every single place we go, every single memories we had.. i feel so pain .. fucking pain right now.. can any one tell me why .. why do i have to make this choice.. why do i have to forgo a relationship i want so much ..

Oreo, i am so sorry, i have cause u to be in trouble.. u have a wonderful owner but becoz of me u have to leave her.. i know she loves u a lot.. so much that she will miss u dearly.. u are like a child to me.. and i have cause u this situation.. i am so sorry.. i am so useless..

baby .. i really love u so much .. can u tell me what i can do to keep u by my side without have all those stupid nonsense.. i dun wan to feel the pain i am having now.. i dun wan to cry non stop .. i want to have enjoyable times with u .. i wan to hug u and slp .. i wan to be there when u wake up .. but all this are my imagination now.. i really miss u.. i want to STOP CRYING!

19-08-07 --- 27-07-08

i hate myself..
i need u ..
i miss u..
i love u..

-YzW- i'm such a failure, i have hurt u ..

Happy 20th Birthday?

2008-07-23T05:13:00.004+08:00

Yes, i am 20 .. it feels good to have birthday once again.. but it feels bad when i enter the 20th age.

i feel so old.. ok .. not really old but i know when i reach this age, more things need to be considered. less fun , more responsiblity and no mor of the days where school is concern.

Thinking back to the time where i was still in secondary or primary school, where the fun and laughter were, where the unity of the class was, where everything is under control. Basketball matches, ncc days, class days, recess times.. so many to say but no longer able to have that kind of life again.

I am 20, i need to plan for my future, i did actually plan and u know life ahead me isn't going to be as carefree anymore. I have to forgone my teenage life and go on with my young adult or even an adult life. which the stress comes. No more guidance from teacher. no more chance given by my parents. It's me going out to the society and make an impact. whether i make it or break it, there's no such easy U-turn to take anymore. Consequences have to be faced. Planning have to be spot-on in order to make a success in life. haha

alright, shall not think too much on that..

21st July, me and baby went to swensens to eat!! we shared a tomato garlic soup , she ate chicken cutlet and i have chicken baked rice.. then i tell baby that i dun wan to have dessert, suddenly she keep urging me to order.. reason is becoz she told the stuff to give me the cake after dessert.lol.. in the end, i ordered and the surprise came. haha.. thanks baby.. enjoy my night with you.

clock strike 12 . it's my 20th birthday.. where the silly boy is born 20 years back.

around 1am , weisiong, zhen guang, darwin, wenhao , jensen and me went to TANG SHUI at lornie road, have supper drink tea den our eyes lock at the tv watching funny chinese show.lol..
couldn't slp after tt.. dunno why..

lots of msg coming thru.. actually not a lot.. only few.. but appreciate it.

went back to my home with oreo and slept.. zzZZz..

then met xin man as she wanna pass me present.. haha..

after that met up with my buddies for a very expensive dinner.. during dessert time, some of them went missing, den the whole restaurant play the birthday song.. lol.. was so touch and actually wanna laugh. haha.. jinhong brought a cake and we celebrate lor.. lol..

our tradition is birthday boy treat.. argh. lucky wen hao share share..lol..

was feeling guilty i was not home to celebrate with my family.. i know all of u care for me. i love all of you.

that's basically how i spend my birthday.. not very eventful but meaningful.

THANKS
baby- without u life will not be easy..
family- i love you all.. the pillar of strength comes from mummy and daddy, being understanding
buddies- it's always fun to hang out with you guys
Asri- a perfect manager in my life, miss the time working with u .. thanks for ur wishes
Steph- thanks sis, jia you in wadeva u do...
Kaixin- last one msg very fun ar.. but thanks for ur wishes
Joyce- thanks for ur support and being such a nice friend
Xinman- nice present from u .. glad to know u
Jason and Weisiong- thanks for forgetting my birthday but haha.. it's okay! need me to remind!
Jiting- my best buddie for life.. call me from ur camp and make sure u wish me.. haha.. miss u. so gay..lol
paulina- wishing me from australia.. haha.. hope u doing well
Yuri- thanks and all the best in ur work!

thanks everyone.. beesiew, my cousin ah boy, valentia and more..lol.

HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY to MYSELF! =)

-YzW- 20 and counting.. old man.. lol

Army

2008-07-11T00:32:00.002+08:00

Yes.. really sorry abt the delay of blogging..

Finally finish my attachment.. break free from the everyday work.. no more long hours .. no more waking up early.. 9 months of attachment went pass just like tt.. i still thot i will be waiting for very long.. but now.. it's over..

Army awaits me next, phew.. something that i didn't spend much time thinking abt.. but after a while.. i just realise that it's something big in my life.. lol... but it's a no choice thing... just have to accept it and do wadeva it takes to go thru it..

And now.. enjoying myself.. yippie..

Just been to bangkok with baby.. 1st time travelling abroad with her.. lol.. feel so great shopping with her.. slashing prices from the storekeeper.. i got a shoe at 40 bucks which cost 60 initally.. haha.. i slash a lot of prices too .. but the whole was great except for a stupid toot toot driver.. who demanded so much money from.. end up quarrelling with him.. but in the end let it be.. i rather not let him destroy my journey.. me and baby enjoy ourselves there.. =)

After that, went to genting with my buddies.. woo0.. fun .. but no more chi liao le.. sianz.. dunno where the store move to... no more liao means half og our trip is wasted.. but luckily.. we still went to spa and amusement park.. i finally get to play the corkscrew since i am young.. was so afraid at first.. but after that.. i feel full of acheivement.. lol.. u guys may think is nothing to u .. but hey .. i am quite a timid guy when it comes to roller coaster.. now... i conquer the corkscrew! lol.. lots of my buddies went there and slp.. zZZzz.. keep snoring and snoring.. lol... i did take a nap.. haha..

Well.. that;s all for now.. baby's on attachment.. just wish to accompany her when she needs.. and i want to enjoy while i still can before i enlist into the army.. =)

-YzW- serve the nation.. not my nation -_-"

burnt!

2008-06-04T23:45:00.003+08:00

Oh man.. nobody would believe this.. i went to sentosa with buddies den have lots of fun..

we played soccer, volleyball, swimming and even sumo.. wah.. alan damn strong. but best sumo move by lianhong.. wo0ts.. he throw alan out of the ring.. lol. i was damn stunned.

after that when i got home.. i found out something.. something that u ppl cannot or even never seen before..

this is not my feet without washing! it GOT BURNT! woah.. the sand was so hot that it cause my leg to become this! oh man.. luckily there wasn't any pain nor itchy. looks like those fresh man tou just come out from oven.

haha.. ok.. 20 more days left for my attachment .. argh.. counting and counting.. when i count , times pass so slow.. but i couldn't keep myself not to count. argh.. okay. i can survive..!! no more MCs!!! =x.. finger cross..

Yea.. have book the hotel for going to bangkok. yea.. me n baby going to bangkok bangkok bangkok.. shop shop shop , eat eat eat.. must take lots of pictures too.. take picture with ba pok. lol.. =x

k la.. no one is viewing my blog.. i understand the frequency of my updates are very low.. but pls show ur support by at least checking my blog updates once a week or once in two weeks.. haha.. sure have updates one.. if no.. call me and scold me.. =x..

-zW- thailand here i come!

counting down

2008-05-28T22:59:00.003+08:00

yea yea.. 28 days to go.. haha.. been counting down everyday to the day where i finish my attachment.. argh.. can't wait for it to be over..

after that.. no more early wake up.. no more long hours of work. no more sai kang to do..no more boring times to pass.. today woke up late and reach there about half an hour later.. oh man.. luckily no one realise.. phew.. if not die jia lat jia lat.. wahahaha..

anyway .. been trying to get more task for myself to do.. try to get more involved in doing butler.. haha.. quite fun if u are giving task to do.. only if they allow me to do la..

oh man.. no more money... need money to go bangkok.. need money to go genting.. argh.. money fall from sky.. quick quick!! i wil catch with both hands!!

baby say i act cute.. what's wrong with her.. after 9 months she haven seen the cute side of me yet? oh.. dumb dumb her.!!! not happy blog me back la!! la la la..!! now i am under pressure from her.. die.. she got exam still dun wan study... down here bully me.. tink i wan to kill her right now.. make sure she die and cut into 100 pieces!!

-zW- money and work.. money faster come , work faster go! i love baby baby orhz... awwww...

1 more month to go

2008-05-27T01:36:00.002+08:00

Yes, finally counting down the days i will be free from attachment.

Some ask why do u feel so want to leave the organisation.

It's not because of the Hotel, it's not because of the people there.

It's because i believe i deserve to have a long break for my life.

I wasn't able to put in my desire and passion towards working at raffles. As i know i have NS coming up next. i really wish that i can enjoy my teens life while i still can.

25th of June. Last day of work. Then it shall be my holidays! i am going to Bangkok with baby den i will be going genting with my buddies. I want to enjoy to the fullest. really, after 2 and a half years of studying, 9 months of attachment where u only get 1 off day a week, shouldn't i be allow to enjoy before going to army.? no one should argue against me!

Well, people work hard for money. but neglected the times with their closest ones. i dun understand why this world is making people work so hard, and only be able to go holiday for once or twice a year. while some other people have the money to go wherever they want whenever they want. different life perherps.

I miss my baby now.. she called me but i failed to answer the phone. guess she must be feeling lonely. how i wish i can be by her side right now. but i still love my family. i needed to be home.

baby, sometimes i mood swing very fast doesn't mean i am angry with you... it's just that i need ur attention. being the thick skin of me.. usually do it the indirect way. but no matter what , u r my most lovely darling.

you lost your wallet, i feel so depressed.. u r my next closest person and i feel so bad when u lose it, cos somehow i know i did not check for u.. i dun wan anything bad or sad that goes into ur life. i always pray for happiness for u .. even if i doesn't involve me.. coz i know i love u more than anything else.. =)

well.. oreo making my eyes soar again.. argh.. now i have anti allergy medicine and eye drops.. humpf... see who win! lol.. no matter what.. i wun wan to sell u away.. coz u can bring happiness and companion to my baby..

-zW- work work work and HOLIDAY! 30 days left!

Oh Well..just be contended

2008-04-20T02:51:00.003+08:00

Just finish watching the man u matchh.. A win will extend their lead to 5 points with 3 games left.. however .. they drew with blackburn .. almost lost to the rovers.. however, carlos tevez score a important equaliser which allow the devils to have a 3 point lead heading towards the stamford bridge next week. oh well.. i still believe the devils can win the title this year.

Well.. today .. oh.. is yesterday was 19/4/08 .. what's tt? is my 8mths with my lovely baby Annabella.. time pass so fast but during this period.. lots of happiness i gain form this relationship.. she's been the best gf i ever had.. and i will never trade her for another.. don't think she allow me anyway.. haha.. well .. only she can cope with my temper.. only she can understand my needs and always be there for me.. i am a sensitive guy .. yea.. everyone knows.. =x. but she always put me before anything.. mayb i m selfish , but now i am reducing my sensitivity .. just wanna let her have more time with her frens.. hopefully.. =P

8 MONTHS!

attachment .. coming to an end in just 2mths plus.. just finish my housekeeping.. left reservation and butler.. hopefully i can go for room sales and marketing. .will get lots of experience there.. like what i say.. just be contended for what i have now.. praying hard tt no more painful days to go thru...

well.. bought my baby another eeyore! haha.. think she have more than ten eeyore i bought for her.. lol.. one day we'll need a room to store all her eeyore.. lol.. love her so so much .. happy 8 mths baby .. and counting to a year!

hmm .. tt stupid dog ! OREO .. still not toilet train .. well i guess he is either dumb or he is just being mischeivous.. pee just outside the toilet.. ARGh! .. he has grown bigger but not much .. hehe .. still so naughty .. giving me and baby trouble... naughty dog!

Flagging for cab

well.. tt's all ! .. shall blog again soon..

3 more months..

2008-03-29T00:48:00.002+08:00

3 more months of attachment and i have graduate from my course.

i am not enjoying any bit of it right now.. everything gives me not the right feeling.. am i really suited for hospitality line? shud i regret about not going to poly.. no point.. everything has happen and i cannot do anything about it.. i just have to live with it..

my life seems so fully scheduled... after attachment , i will be awaiting for army.. should i replan my plans for future.. or should i just stick with it.. getting emo now.. dunno why ..

everything seems to be falling out of place.. problems come in one go and i really do not know how to handle it.. what u reap is what u sow.. what can i do .. nth.. just pray that everything will turn out for the better..

i know i need to make a decision fast.. i cannot carry on tt habit any more.. i dun like it.. but i am force to accept it.. i know i can do it.. but it's always the weaker side of me tt over rule myself..

am i taking the correct steps? am i going to succeed in life?
i wonder what are the answers to all this..

i just wish to eat and slp and play everyday .. is this thinking too childish ? i am tired..
so tired of what i need to do in life now...

-YzW- tired... dun push me to the edge of the cliff.. or i really will fall..

mountains of obstacles

2008-03-19T00:53:00.003+08:00

today suppose to be a good day to start with.. but yet i am going to blog how these few weeks have been bad for me..

My attachment at hotel went all wrong.. my relationship with my managers are so bad that i dont think they will write anything good in the logbook for me. actually i dun care much abt what they write.. but .. i just feel so lost of myself when i am working.. i have totally no motivation to work.. none of them there inspire me at all.. my manager said this to me. ' you are not fit to be in the F&B line' . i got so frustrated over these few words.. even feel like crying.. from young till now.. i always believe so much in myself.. to let my manager said this insulting words to me.. i feel so not myself.. when i put in effort.. they are not appreciative... when i was unable to save their ass.. they blast their voice through my face as though i am at fault.

My eyes have been giving me problem .. it might be allergic to oreo.. i can't bare to sell him away.. after so much effort me n baby have put in .. but my eyes.. the problem seems to be serious.. hopefully nothing goes wrong.. please don't put me in this kind of situation.. i really dun like the feeling when i have two choices but none are positive.

today is me n baby 7th month .. was so happy that we have come so far.. all the things we done.. all the things we been through.. all the problems we tackled. was suppose to be by my baby side.. but i guess she's tired and worried abt my eyes.. tt's why i couldn't go over..

went to chalet with my secondary frens.. all still so lively.. all full with ambition.. all happily cheerfully talking to one another.. i feel so happy for them.. though the lame jokes still lies around.. but i can see the maturity that they have perform.

what abt myself.. what's my plan .. sometimes i just sit down and ponder abt the things that is going to happen in future for my life.. and i ponder what will happen if i do this and that.. i just wish life could be a bit easier.. things seems to grow heavier on my shoulder.. sometimes i just dun have time to breathe..

things will turn out for the better.. hopefully..
emo-ing away .. *****

-YzW- bought something for u baby.. but couldn't give u on 12mn =/

Whose blog is this?? Anyone there?

2008-02-22T23:41:00.002+08:00

Lol .. hey .. anyone around here? haha.. hasn't been blogging since my attachment start.. all i care is spending time with my baby .. o0ps..

Yea.. me n her just celebrating 6 months togetheR!! time past really really fast.. and i am so so happy with my relationship..

Now i am currently doing attachment back at raffles! at raffles courtyard! serving mostly drinks. haha.. but 2 weeks later i am going to be a bartender!! those we free can come by the courtyard and have a drink.. but prepare to splurge.. is not cheap!! one coke cost u 10.60 bucks! lol..

after march 23rd i am going to housekeeping!! clean toilet.. wo0ho0 .. lol

hmm .. most of my secondary frens have graduated from their poly.. envy .. =(
wad to do .. i chose to go shatec and i have live with it! so no regrets!

hmm .. recently i have been thinking to myself.. am i wayne or am i zhengway .. some of u might not get the meaning.. ok .. let me explain.. i have changed. not to a very large extend but did change.. last time when nobody call me as wayne.. i was still living my secondary school life.. but now.. most of the ppl call me wayne.. and from that time to now.. i have change.. do i like the old zheng way or do i like the wayne now.. i miss those teenage life.. havoc around the place.. nothing to worry about.. happy go lucki .. fooling around like the world belongs to me.. but now.. wayne knows he has much more responsiblity in his life.. jobs, monetary , work-life balance, relationship, family concerns. so much to care about and my shoulder are getting heavy. but i am not complaining, coz this shows to me that i have grown up .. more responsibility.. i know i have step into another phase of my life..

just wanna remind or advice some of my frens who are around my age. yes. we miss those times where we are in school .. having memorable experiences. but .. do remember that when it's time to grow up .. u must change to adapt to life.. u can't possibly rely on parents for pocketmoney. u can't rely on frens for little help. in singapore, indepedence is so essential.

i always like this phrase. Great power come with Great responsiblity. hold on to the wonderful memories that have happen over the past years.. but do step into the next phase. dun pull yourself back if u wan to succeed in your life. =)

haha.. some may not agree but i just feel like sharing =)

that's all. wonder when will i blog again. but do tag still .. urge me to blog!

-YzW- loving my baby much more than ever!

Happy 2008!

2008-01-01T01:25:00.000+08:00

oo0ps. it's holiday and i hasn't been blogging..haha

i am always with my gf ma.. so nv blog lor.. haha .. it's not her fault but mine.. coz i always wanted to be with her.. =P

hmm .. went to boon lay with baby .. see one v v short firework den kanna jam in the carpark .. for like 30 mins.. argh.. haha.. luckily got one uncle tell me got another place to exit.. if not we will stuck there for an hr..

hmm .. one more day .. i am going back to raffles.. sick sick sick. dun feel like going back.. if i am single.. den is still ok .. but now i have my baby u know.. less time to meet her.. argh.. will die de lehx.. hehe..

hmm .. the other day play deal or no deal with baby .. hehe .. she chose a number and she got a v good 'prize' which is we will meet at least 4 times a week. and i will slp over 8 times a month at her place..

haha.. can't wait for my first pay to come in .. den oreo will be bought! .. haha.. btw.. oreo is not the cookie k .. is my and baby future doggie!! ..

k la.. stop blogging le.. want to accompany my baby !! ..

Happy New Year
-YzW- my baby jus yawn! haha

stupid DPs

2007-11-27T02:33:00.001+08:00

sian ar.. 10 demerit points.. haha.. kanna counselling

hmm .. shatec also sent stupid letter to my hse.. daddy scold me.. argh!!

HDHM was not as easy as DHM.. sianz.. think my GPA only can get around 3.. k la. better than nothing eh? lol .. mayb i am not working hard enuff mayb .. hmm ..

yeah! i got a big tortoise from my baby .. hugging it to slp everynight.. haha.. childish? no la... actually v nice to hug one u know.. hmm .. exams coming soon .. projecting getting dued soon .. must faster finish all ..sick man .. lol ... than on 1st jan like tt going back to Raffles hotel to work .. might be a good thing.. having enuff rest from school le.. yah .. 'rest'

anyway .. last sat went to east coast and play lan .. haha.. with ben gang and jeremy guan soon and wh and sw.. play for like hrs.. eyes pain .. lol .. .but anyway .. still fun .. lol .. hmmm .. dota seems so addictive man .. lol .. i play this game for like almost 1 year plus le.. lol .. tink so .. mayb even more.. 2 years? dunno ..

feel so stress up with so many things coming along again .. projects.. test results.. exams.. money.. fitness.. aiyo.. die la.. tink must exercise more le.. been quite some time since i last play bball or soccer.. feel like playing it ...

today went to help mummy .. den see ppl playing soccer.. feel so much like joining them .. hehe... but end up going home watch tv.. 'zhu meng shen hua' lol .. nice korean show.. haha.. been catching it like mad for 3 weeks.. hmm .. all my frens shud be busy too .. common test eh? haha.. means all holiday coming soon yea? haha.. =) take care everyone..

-zW- living my life to the FULLEST!

stupid DPs

2007-11-27T02:33:00.000+08:00

Link

2007-10-30T15:19:00.000+08:00

Braces , Bo Gay pictures

Go to http://onlyremindmeof-you.blogspot.com

This is the blog of me and my gf.. feel free to tag.. =) take care

-YzW- just TAG k .. =)

Braces On!

2007-10-14T23:33:00.000+08:00

Phew.. Finally tat metel thing is on! .. i dun like it at all .. it's so uncomfortable.. and for the past three days i been eating porridge and porridge and porridge.. argh!!! din know tat making ur teeth straight and nice need so so much effort..

Anyway .. i been missing lesson recently.. lol.. die la.. one week got around 1 or 2 day nv go skool.. think this term jia lat jia lat.. lol.... if i can still do well ... den i must be lucki .. lol .. oh.. so after this term.. i will have 2 weeks of holiday and den i will go back for my attachment at Raffles

Saw adeline (HR asst. training manager) at coasta sands at Ern Ern chalet... she ask me when are we coming back .. lol.. so i told her 1st jan instead of 17 dec.. lol... tat's where we me , richie and elliot get our 2 weeks break .. hehe ..

My baby cook for me porridge this morning ... it was the m,ost healthy porridge i had in three days.. what my maid cook for me is slice fish and meat.. baby cook for me is carrot and potato.. lol . and of coz i must say baby's porridge is better . haha . so bless by her love for me... hope it will never ends.. =)

Oh ya.. my photos of my teeth will be uploaded soon .. so keep visiting my blog!=)

-YzW- PINK BRACES!

New term = new trouble

2007-10-03T03:32:00.000+08:00

School starts.. boring .. new term.. new things .. new modules .. new stress.

This term dun seem any easier.. it's going to kill me i know.. projects, tests, exams argh!! haha.. haven even come i start to stress le.. mayb i am expecting myself to do well.. tt's why will stress.. hopefully i can overcome it ba. .haha..

hmm .. baby is in outlet.. cannot see her in sch anymore..=( ... means we can meet even lesser.. oh man .. this is terrible.. lol.. in school now seems so unmeaningful for me.. no baby , no motivation go sch .. lol... but still go la.. studies is impt for me.. but it's doesn't motivate me.. lol..

hmm .. baby must be suffering too at outlet..she's been complaining abt the life over there.. i've been thru so i know how it feels.. haiyo.. hopefully she can tahan .. haha.. i have to do something to motivate her !!!

Oh man. .this thursday .. ya .. extracting two more teeth... ouch ouch ouch!! more teeth going to be pluck out.. more pain !!! haha .. i have decided to put PINK braces .. lol.. my mum and dad scold me.. siao ar.. why wan to put pink .. lol.. i reply dem and say i wan to be UNIQUE.. lol...
dun wish to suffer the same pain as the one earlier.. cannot tahan .. some time dun even have the strength to tahan the pain .. the painkiller no use one.. lol..

hmm .. i will post the picture of my ugly teeth k ! u people wan to laugh at me rite! lol... go ahead.. i dun mind..

-YzW- tooth fairy .. must come!

My teeth!

2007-09-26T14:26:00.000+08:00

oh man... i just extracted 2 teeth off yesterday. for my braces.. argh... now look so ugly.. like someone who did not take care of his teeth and need to be taken off.. lol ..

now is my holiday and i am not enjoying myself due to my stupid teeth.. lol .. have to go out with my bo gei mouth.. look so ugly.. lol ...

Baby still so exicted abt my teeth.. keep laughing at me.. haha .. bad rite her? haha .. wonder why i have this kind of gf.. lol .. o0ps.. juz kidding... love her so much.. have been spending lots of time with her.. haha.. hopefully she wun get bored of me la.. hopefully.. wahahaha ..

tml 4e6 will be having chalet again!! aloha loyang.. weewit! lol .. hope we are going to have fun again .. haha .. everything should be planned.. jiting says he will not attend the chalet fully.. he got his psp camp... haiz.. sometimes juz wonder is frens more impt or their own personal ... i really wonder so much .. thought jiting value frens alot.. yesterday i call him and ask where is he.. he say he is with zg at ABC market eating.. den i ask he why nv jio me.. u know wad he say! ' oh , coz i thought u will call me.. ' anyone who hear this phrase will tink is juz an excuse.. so bullshit rite .. wahahahahahahah .... f him!

-YzW- jiting u watch out during chalet.. hang u by ur balls

Exams.. yet again

2007-09-18T01:34:00.000+08:00

Yup .. Sadly to say is the time of the term to have my exams again ... argh! .. stress level high .. not actually.. just want to get it over and done with...

This time around .. i have 6 modules instead of 5.. sux rite.. meaning that this saturday i will still be having my last paper.. today just finish one.. which is tourism marketing.. tomorrow will be managerial accounting. I just want to get my grades that's all .. dun wish to compete with any of the classmate.. haha .. i am not as hardworking as them u see..

Well .. aside from exams. WuLaoLaoZ din manage to compete in the CAPL.. sadly to say as one of our teammate register wrongly.. too bad.. next time then .. WGT Finals is coming but SW say we will see how la.. dun register 1st.. haha.. coz our team skills still below par...

Strangely to say , this thing have come across my mind and i really dun even know how to answer it myself... it's kinda of complicated yet simple .. depending on how u think... i can't reveal it till i have come up with a decision.. hmm .. just feeling uneasy abt this issue.. is it a big issue? actually quite.. haha.. just need some time to think abt it and den i will reveal it.. hopefully i remember.. lol..

4e6 chalet is around the corner.. 4e6 peeps.. no last min fly aeroplane or wad k .. all of us wishes to see each other.. hopefully everything will be fun like how it used to be.. hehe .. hmm . .wondering whether shud we rent a van for the chalet.. still thinking.. coz quite costly.. lol ... shall tink again .. haha .. now exam.. not brain cells left le..

-YzW- exam faster finish!!!!!!

Thoughts that kills

2007-09-09T04:29:00.000+08:00

hmm .. nowadays been hanging ard with my baby.. hehe.. sticky eh? lol .. i am also training hard for my competition next week.. the only thing i have to worried abt is both my exam and project.. so so much to think abt.. hmm . .hope i just get it over and done with..

hmm .. guess i am getting sensitive le ba.. i trust my baby.. but sometimes thoughts just come and i can't stop thinking... sometimes ignorance is bliss.. i better use my brain more effectively.. lol .. dun wanna think so much from now on ... only think when neccessary.. this way, i can cut out my sensitiveness.. another thing is that my brain get to rest.. hehe ...

baby having exam this coming week .. jiayou k!

i only have to go to school 2 days which is tue and thur for presentation.. lol .. shiok .. so much free time.. hopefully i can be with baby when she's free..

CAPL tournament coming soon.. hopefully i will do well.. and also for my team.. we dun wanna aim much .. go 2nd round den say .. haha .. there will be pros and no0bs.. we are neither one.. lol ..

Accounting project freaks me like shit.. so much to do .. but i dunno how to start as it is all jumble up .. aiyo .. but luckily i have so much time to do ..

-YzW- that's all for now.. baby . i love u!

Lies, Lies and more Lies!

2007-09-01T13:43:00.000+08:00

Oh well, being one of my closest frens.. u actually lied to me.. if u think lying to me is better than telling me the truth , u r wrong. i thot u understand me after such a long friendship.

u see, when ppl lie to me.. is not tt i dunno.. is just i dun wan to expose it.. yea, mayb some lies i really dunno and believe it, but most of time i know but just let it be..

ppl who understand me knows that lying to me is a stupid thing to do.. coz eventually things will go bad when i find out.. yea , i rather u juz tell me the truth , and let me accept it, den u lie to me and den i found out. consequences is worse ..

for those who dunno, i am a person, be it the truth or the lie, i will get either depress or angry at first. when u tell me thr truth.. yes , truth hurts. but bear in mind tt i am a person who can accept and digest things within minutes.. give me some time to accept it and i will be fine..

however, if u lied to me and den i found out, its not the issue that i will be frustrated abt, but the thought of u lying to me makes me feel disappointed.

In relationship , there must be trust, understanding and be transparant. however, we are talking abt friendship now.. couldn't it be the same. I know some of u have a reason for lying. but be it white lies or wad , pls let me know the truth. let me accept it.

hmmm.. mayb ppl who read this post will be taken back and get scared.. haha.. but just want to let u know , i can be a simple person . everyone likes the funny and comedy zhengway isn't it? i like it myself too , so dun let me enter the mood whereby i become quiet and make me think. coz i will end up thinking a lot.

As for u , i tink this friendship doesn't mean much to u, u actually 'betray' me just like THAT. i try to accept it, but u keep lying to me, i see no point. ppl actually tells me that u did it coz u thot i wouldn't find out. hmmm.. it's not the end of our friendship , but give me time to see what need to be done k? we have such a long friendship, i dun wan to see it end just like tt.. but pls understand me too k? u r still one of my close fren =) . actually i dun buy the word 'sorry' easily. so no point telling me, only when u understand where i am coming from den i will not be angry.
..

'sorry' this word can only be use by my baby! haha.. but i dun tink she will do anything wrong towards me.. so i dun tink she will need to use this word .. haha.. speaking of her,
Hmm .. wondering what my baby is doing.. must be busy with her presentation and stuff.. i felt guilty of making u cry yesterday . mayb i probe too much .. but at least i know what's happening?

baby , if u read this post, u better not lie to me too .. haha.. i will be sad.. it's ok if u dun feel like telling me things, tell me when u find the time is right, we still have a long way to go! it's better than telling me stories..

hais.. think ppl who read this post dun dare to talk to me le.. die.. mayb i am too moody to care ba.. are u all thinkin 'wah , zhengway like tt one ar! so scary' . mayb i am scary .. =( .. but seriously no one likes the feeling of being decieved rite? white lies are ok .. but not to the extend whereby white lies become black!

dunno la.. tink i'll just let it be.. guess i am like tt.. hais..

hmm . today Pearly birthday
Happy Birthday!
see ya later!

-YzW- i don't like to think so much either..

Troubled

2007-08-28T02:59:00.000+08:00

Hmm .. u guys must be wondering why i am troubled.. i dunno either... mayb i am just thinking too much..

so what's the issue about..? is just that i am afraid to become the old self of me.. where by i become selfish again .. and did not care abt her feelings.. i dun wan to become the old self of me.. but the signs are showing mayb .

she was tired yet i ask her to accompany me longer.. hais.. such a wrong thing to do .. i shud have let her go home and rest.. am i being selfish ? i guess i am .. think i have to tell myself to be a understanding bf.. i love her.. but mayb i just do not know how to understand my gf.. i need to i know.. i'll try ..

wonder sometimes am i forcing her to do things ... i dun wish that to happen .. all i want is my gf to feel happy.. feel comfortable with me.. if i am forcing her to do things she dun feel like doing.. tt shows that i am not attaining my objective.

i guess sometimes is i miss her too much , tt's why i really want to spend more times with her. i know we have umpteen time in the future.. but i really wish to spend all my time with her.. not considering the fact that she got so much things to do.. yet i still occupy her time. i have to tell myself i need to understand her..

i suppose i have acheive my goal of trusting my gf.. compare to last time, i dun really probe much into what she does.. i trust her.. but when come to the understanding part.. i tink i really need to tell myself to be understandin.. yes.. it's hard to understand someone.. but i will try my best coz i really cherish this relationship so much . for her and myself.. i know need to do it..

dear.. just wanna tell u i'm sorry .. u were tired yet u have to accompany me.. pls forgive the selfish me.. i will try my best to understand u better k ! =)

-YzW- u r my baby always..

CTIS - HDHM

2007-08-20T23:34:00.000+08:00

Haha. 17/8/07

My class and I went for CTIS .. course tutor interactive session

Here are some pictures..

1/3 of HDHM 0707!

hmm .. wonder what am i looking at

Guys or Gays?

This is definitely a GAY

Now he's posing the 'Elliott'

Nicest pic of all! haha.. =)

-YzW- HDHM , smiles!

Back to School!

2007-08-14T01:50:00.000+08:00

o0ps.. been so long since i last blog.. sorrie everyone.. not tt i was busy .. but it's just tt i am lazy .. =x .. haha .. okie.. so for this post i am going to update things tt have been happening since my first day of school in HDHM .. erm.. not everyday la.. lol..

July

HDHM - there is only 17 of us!! luckily there are familiar faces , so easier to find someone to hang ard with

Stupid thing is tt the modules are getting tougher.. no tips for test and exam!! argH!! lol.. but hopefully i can do well la.. hehe..

No more banquet life.. life seems much more lively .. haha.. more time for me to do my things.. no more faitgue!! haha.. now full of energy .. i hope.. lol.. still been slping late everyday..

My 19th birthday - hmm.. have mixed feelings during tt span of 2 days.. 21st of July and 22nd which is my bdae.. on the 21st of july.. i planned to go out with this particular gal.. but in the end she went out with her bf.. i admit tt at tt time i was interested with her.. but after tt day .. when everything go so wrong for me in particular to relationship.. i tink i shud give up .. mayb i am just a third party. ppl who knows me well know tt i dun like to be the third party.. nor am i a person who break up ppl .. so i was sad on tt day la.. tt gal din even say happi birthday to me when i met her for a while.. haha..

However, i met up all my frens, buddies.. and i treat them to eat.. -.-" lol.. tt's our tradition.. but i dun mind la.. they accompied me thru my bdae.. 12 am to 4 am like tt.. we were playing.. and they gave me a adidas watch=) .. hmm .. if i am not wrong the ppl were , ws and wen wen, zg, jt , wh, sw and his gf.. kaixin was there too .. and sw bro also dere.. i think tt's abt all ? lol... oh ya.. jason also there.. haha.. but left early la.. lol.. despite the earlier incident.. lucky my frens were there for me lor.. hehe..

ya.. but sadly to say i was still feeling unhappy .. having tt sort of incident happening on my bdae.. well .. tt night i was too tired to think abt it and i just go n slp lor.. later tt day .. i met up with bel.. haha.. she said she wanted to treat me to eat ma.. she sort of book me 1st ba.. lol.. somemore nobody book me also .. lol.. i met her up at cine and she pass me a wallet.. Bruan Buffel la.. damn ex lor.. den we went to buy movie tix.. and went to eat ding tai feng. haha.. ppl who dunno her will immediately says she is rich rite? lol... tt's what i feel too .. after our 'lunch'.. when we went back to cine.. i found out tt i lost the movie tix.. den i was so lost la.. den bel was laughing away .. make me embarressed only .. haha.. no la.. in the end i bought another 2 tix..=( .. which have the 'best view' according to bel.. haha .. Harry Porter.. many ppl say not nice but i find it not bad la.. haha.. after that bel need to met up with her frens den i went home lor..

My family bought a cake and celebrate with me.. den i go out and celebrate with my 4e6 peeps again .. haha .. Ben , Jt (<- again him!) chun hui , kx .. haha.. den after that my bdae finish ..lol.. Hmm .. love all the presents la.. i got a new bag as well .. haha.. actually i pay half of it la.. lol.. den .. erm..

Actually was quite sad on 21st of july.. but credit to bel.. she lifts up my birthday la.. haha.. becoz of her my 19th birthday wasn't going to be a sad one .. dunno why.. haha.. thanks alot to her ..=)

August

kinda of busy month for me.. have 4 testin two weeks.. many projects to rush .. this and that.. wa lao .. but no choice la.. i just need to organise my time well and there shud not be any problem .. haha.. k la.. august issues i free den blog k .. =x hands and eyes tired le..

-YzW- take care everyone! =)

I'm Back!

2007-07-06T03:15:00.000+08:00

Hey guys

lol ... guess why i have the time to blog? cozi have finally finish my banquet attachement.. haha .. next week i am back to school.. now is the week which i am free.. so bloggin is possible.. haha.. hmm .. nobody tag my tagbox anymore.. so sad.. where have u guys go .. lol.. no girls tag nvm .. guys also dun have.. lol .. sad sia.. haha .. but hope every one is doing fine eh?

hmm .. so i have receive school's letter of schedule.. neither pack nor slack .. so stil the same eh? haha.. but i expect thecourse to be harder.. another thing is tt going back skool i can see lots of ppl who i know.. li min and her gang.. bel , xiu .. trainers.. even my classmate which are atending the HD course as well . hmm .. can't wait to see them.

well .. what have i beeen doing this month.. other than work .. i been training hard.. training hard u guys may wonder.. tt's DotA! lol .. defend of the Ancients. haha ..it'sa Lan gaming game.. which is popular in singapore.. but i am not a pro yet.. still training eh.. lol.. haha.. i wan to partcipate in compettion .. hmm. must win prizes..

hmm .. actually also nothing muchto blog.. miss my sec skool classmates which are the 4e6 peeps.. how u guys been doing eh? hopefully we can meet up soon.. i will be holding a chalet on the sept .. but no promises k ... mini chalet as in .. must make it hoh! as for my gang.. ermm chalet will be on hold as well .. i will update this on flingsters.blogspot.com

welll .. more ppl tag den i blog more.. haha .. no ppl tag .. no post.. =x ... k la.. take care everyone..

-YzW- visit flingsters.blogspot.com for my gang updates

Deferment

2007-06-06T04:07:00.000+08:00

Oh man.. din realise that i din blog for almost a month.. no.. is more than a month.. wahaha .. been busy with my attachment u see.. now i a still blogging.. means i only left ard 2and a half hr to slp.. scary rite? lol ... but bo bian .. have to always cherish my off day .. cannot any how waste it..

hmm .. in this month .. lots of things happen .. lol ... i went for raffles bowling competition and din perform again .. haha .. i spent lots of money and left little from my pay.. =( . haha .. but din know where all the money go man .. lol .. i wonder.. lol ..

oh ya.. i want to talk about this topic.. i wanted to upgrade my studies to higher diploma... but dunno whether can defer ma... heard from chris that his deferment was rejected.. i really wish to go for higher diploma .. why .. coz firstly , it helps me to save time before i go NS .. secondly.. i can take a breather from the hotel .. haha .. it's been tiring and stresful man .. have to work more than 8 hrs a day .. torturing man .. i dunno wad to say but i have no chice.. lol .. .

hmm .. last few days.. my family went to hongkong and i was at singapore due to my work .. cannot go .. but one thing is that i get to use my dad's car.. wahahahah . shiok man .. drive to work .. drive frens ard .. drive here drive there.. lucki no accident.. but went to wrong road some times.. haha .. guess i am too dumb to know singapore roads yet. but still did reach my destinations.. haha .. lucklu .. but driving has it advantages and disadvantages.. stupid parking fees cost me 20 bucks.. feul 50 bucks .. woah .. lol ... but who cares .. i just spent man .. lol ..

hopefully weisiong, zhen guang and jason get their licence so that i no need to bring them ard the next time.. is them bringing me ard.. lol... hmmm ..cars are expensive , so does feeding a car.. lol ...

now v scare my deferment rejected.. i have not even went to CMPB to hand in the letter.. was to lazy .. but realise that laziness is nothing compare t my future.. hopefully get some time soon to go down to defer.. haha .. pls pls.. i wan to study .. =x

hmm ... my relationships still sux.. lol .. still single. wahahaha ... not really sux la.. haha. i do have my wonderful and crappy frens around.. but still missing a partner who will be always there for me when i need.. i din know i still will suffer from what i have done in the past.. mayb this karma will go on for at least another 3-5 yrs.. before i really get attach? who knows.. but i will be waiting for her i suppose.. as no one really attracts me right now.. not even those pretty and slim .. sexy and sensual ppl .. lol ..

mayb is tt i feel my confidence is no longer as powerful as it once was.. i wondered where is zhengway .. now ppl call me wayne.. but i miss the zhengway .. where he was once confident in doing things... not now.. haha.. going to find him back ..

k guys.. i update le hoh! haha.. gtg slp le.. if not tml work like zombie...

-YzW- Dota 6 new heros!! lol... =x

Regret

2007-04-27T01:10:00.000+08:00

Today is my off day and i spent 12 hrs slping.. wahahah .. but on monday .. i spent 17hr straight working.. how xiong rite? lol .. tml have to work again . .but hopefully times passes as fast as possible..

Well.. just wanna share some sad or shud i say deserving stories of what happened to me in the past..

As to be said, one's life are full of choices, making it right or wrong is totally up to u .. everyday, choices will turn to u and make u choose them .. and if u taken a wrong step .. that's it. Each one of us sumtimes will look back and regret what things they have done.. as i look back .. the most regretful incident is what i have done wrong with my 1st relationship .

She's splendid with all it needs to be someone's gf.. but someone like me, have nv know the word of cherish. She's is loyal to me, yet i doubt her. She is faithful, yet i turn to others. She loved me with all her heart yet i neglected her. Though i am at the age of 15 when i started this relationship with her, i should have been matured enuff to cherish and understand how she feels

Only to find fault with her.. thinking that what she offers is nv enuff.. doubt her and in the end .. it was me who is in the wrong.. nv have i feel that she is right or i am wrong.. i always thought i am the superior among us two.. i gave up on this relationship twice.. she still cling on it when i left her..

But these kind of things always come back and haunt u .. i still kept the love letters she wrote for me.. that night.. just a few months back .. i read with shock .. with regrets .. with shame all ard my face.. thru the letter, i started to realise that how much she gave into the relationship.. how much she loves me when we were together.. she was like a superb gf that anyone can expect.. but i let her down.. now i feel so regret .. i gave her so much hopes of how long the relationshipp will last. but yet i dashed the hopes when i thought she is not my type of gal..

3 years have past.. and she is getting with her life.. she is in poly and shud be with a bf that is nv someone like me.. i wonder what will it be like if we are still together now.. how loving can we be.. but all that are just imagination and i couldn't make myself think any further.. all i have in my mind is sorry .. sorry for letting u down .. sorry for all the false hopes.. sorry for being so self centered and make u tolerate my high ego.. i would definitely feel better if u scolded or hit me right now.. but being ur character.. i tink u would have let it past..

3 years.. yet i could not forgive myself for doing this to u .. our 1 year of relationship is like a game to me.. but for u .. is a 1 year of hell with me.. i ruin ur time.. ur effort , ur love .. bastard am i to do all those stupid things to u .. nobody really knows what happen btw us.. but u keep it to urself and suffer from it.. i really do not know how to forget abt what happen in the past.. is not tt i am asking u to forgive me.. but i just want to llet u know i am truely sorry ..

mayb tt's why i am currently a failure in relationship.. coz mayb God knows i've been bad.. for u .. u deserve a more loving and caring bf.. i tink u have one.. this post is just for me to apologise and telling everyone who read my blog abt how i ill-treated u .. how bastard i am to betray ur love.. i dunno whether will u read my blog.. but if u do read.. i am sorry .. i know just a sorry wouldn't mean much .. but at least let me have a chance to apologise to u ..

when i remember how caring u can be.. making a pillow me.. hurting urself in the process.. remembering times when u were behind me when i am down .. remembering how we gossip abt others.. when i start to recall all this.. i finally realise that i have done and make the stupiest choice of my life.. how i regret it .. but i should be punish for what i have done.. once again .. really sorry to u .. hope btw us there is still friendship.

-YzW- sorry .. =(

What type of guy i am

2007-04-21T22:28:00.000+08:00

well well well.. manage to find some time to blog.. haha.. damn tired.. just came back from work.. well .. is like two weeks in banquet and i am getting stronger.. lol... those ppl who work banquet shud know.. haha..

anyway .. so much so .. wanna talk abt myself in terms of relationships...

been tinking of whether i shud go on with this particular gal .. or open doors for others.. however, this few made me realise something.. i am not a very easy guy to be with.. i realise that after i learn my lesson of being a bastard last time.. i am now more concern abt who i am going to be with.. so what does this mean..

i will not want to hurt any gals by giving false hopes to them .. tt's why when i find myself and the gal not gel. i will not take anymore steps..

i am a DA NAN REN type of guy.. i dun like to be control.. dun like to be told by my gal what to do.. dun like sensitive gals.. i like gals who know how to take care of themselves. not entirely i mean .. i wil shower her with care and concern but certain things only comes to a limit.. this is more of what i am .. if gals can tolerate or shud i say able to accomodate my style.. this way .. i feel relax and love and be love by her.. this is more of what i wan .. mayb i am asking too much .. but if a gal aren't able to do tt.. i rather not take the relationship down as i forsee break-up sooner or later.. let me be who i am .. mayb tt's why i am single for quite long.. lol...

but one thing i need to point out.. for tt particular gal .. whom i have love for so long.. i dun mind being not myself to be with.. mayb tt's when i am able to lower down my requirements.. but i tink .. this offer is only for her... nobody else.. but who knows which gal can come in and change my life.. but so far.. none can be comparable to her.. =)

i admit i dun dare to go for her again .. coz i scare rejection is again the same result.. is too hard for me to take.. even to think abt it.. i will feel devastated.. not sure wad i shud do with this case.. but one thing for sure.. i am not going to be attach this soon.. haha.. yea.. being attach is what i may wish for .. but only with the correct gal .. tt's my aim .. looking for long relationship rather than a one time off thing.. haha ..

some of u may think i am asking too much of myself.. but hey . .tink of the other side.. it's good tt now i care abt the feelings of other parties.. i know i need to do that.. =)

comments?

going to slp lo .. dying from fatigue.. loll... take care everyone...

-YzW- chiong bqt ar!

Hmmm

2007-04-17T03:33:00.000+08:00

Well.. feeling quite lost now abt what i should do.. u see.. i been in love with this gal for ard 2 years... and so far.. no progress at all.. yes. in between the time, i do have some crushes but when she come into my mind.. or should i say my heart.. nobody can really replace her.. is it becoz i am over archieving? or is it i have already tell myself that i have close the doors to others..

there have been quite some nice gals ard me.. but i dun seem to wan to love them coz i might hurt them .. why do i say that.. if i am going to be with someone.. den what i abt the gal who i really love.. i definitely will hurt the one i am with .. so there is why i am very afraid to step into relationshhip

many will ask why dun i go for the gal i really love.. well .. she is a very nice gal .. but no matter how hard i try to win her heart.. she only treat me as a fren or a bro? on the 1st year wher i fell in love with her.. i've been rejectedby her ard 4 times.. i dun wan the 5 time to happen.. hmm .. realy do not know what to do...

anyone can tell me what to do.. to stay on and be faithful to her.. or open my doors a let someone who live me to come in?

Attachment --- tiring

2007-04-13T04:28:00.000+08:00

Oh man .. i been wanted to blog but i was too tired these few days.. why? all becoz of my attachment.. i am attach to banquet, which s the most tiring job.. moving tables and chairs.. running up and down .. pushing equipments.. clearing things... even skirting a table is so tiring..

Worst thing is that i still have 2 months and 3 weeks to go of banquet b4 i going back to skool for my HDHM.. yea. talking abt my HDHM.. not really sure whether NS will lt me defer nort.. really hope to be able to defer ba.. if not i have to do a year of bloody attachement.. lol ...

the worst thing of attachment is actually not the tiredness i get.. but the amount of time i left to enjoy... actually no much time for me to meet up with darwin and rest.. not even able to play bball once a week . oh man .. why why .. lol ... nvm .. tahan a while.. things will go fine.. lol ..

just yesterday i call up jiting and have a chat with him .. haha... he is doing well there.. i hope.. lol .. he told me abt hs attachment and it was like so easy lor.. everyday nothing much for him to do de.. for me... everything i need to do .. aiyo .. but nvm la.. bu tong ren bu tong ming.. hah.. mayb in future all this things i've done is beneficial for me.. luckily . out of 5-6 managers.. there is the manager Asri.. he is damn good lor.. he is not those order ppl doo thing one.. not calling u oi oi one..is one that chiong with u.. chat with u .. play with u.. call u by ur name.. and even teach u lots of things.. i really hope my banquet life can be under him though i know is impossible as i will be under ALL managers..

but i can see he like me la. coz he always 'yan , i borrow wayne a while. jason . i borrow wayne a while' haha.. then he share things with me de.. even jio me to drink next time. lol.. good guy .. Sir lawrance also not bad la. but his authority too high la.. dun dare to play with him . haha .. only let him make fun only.. haha .. tt's all i can do..

kk .. late liao .. i betta go slp .. i apologise to those who i always hang out with.. no time spend with u all le.. my off day i surely find u all de k .. =)

-YzW- shag...

Banquet/Punggol trip

2007-04-07T04:40:00.000+08:00

oh man .. i am attached to banquet department.. shucks.. lol .. so fast have to chiong like hell liaoz.. wad can i say sia.. lol .. nvm .. i shall face it happily k .. yea! lol ... hope can have good relationships with the people there.. especially a good manager..

Hmm .. yesterday went to punggol .. haha .. me darwin , wei siong , wen wen , alan and jiansheng.. 6 of us .. o0ps... i mean 10 of us went punggol .. =x haha.. only some will know why is ten ... ya so anyway .. we went to punggol.. reach abt 12 am .. lol .. and went straight to the maltida hse.. hmm .. it is a abandon house.. so call a haunted house.. but when we are about to walk through the field to reach the house. . we saw a stupid car stopping by .. so we dun dare to proceed on .. so we decided to go to the punggol beach tt side..

we walk abt lrt stations and found oursleves walking on grasses as there is no more walk way for us to walk. when we reach the next lrt station, we found out tt the station is currently not for use.. and is blocked off.. luckliy we found a way out .. but guss where we landed at.. Punggol country club. haha.. den we enter the place as jianshen wan use toilet la. lol .. we also wan to have some drinks and refreshment.. but the sad thing is there was no refreshment!! lol.. how? continue to walk .. now we walk towards the direction of the beach.. but den when we always see a junction in front.. we make the wrong choice.. we ended up at a fishing place.. where lots of people fishing there.. we make a turn and go back to the entrane..

We den continue our long journey with our tired legs. den we saw this lorry .. ask for hitchhike den uncle say ok .. haha .. we go up the lorry .. and the uncle drove super fast la.. and such a long way he drove den we see the place we wan to go.. we thought to ourselves that luckily we hitch uncles llorry.. but we din go to the beach .. why .. coz uncle drove too fast.. we tinkin wan to stop nort.. but den uncle drove so fast we have no chance to tell him to stop..

we ended up near punggl mrt again .. haha.. den we say go find coffee shop ba.. but not a soul near us.. dun even know wher is the coffee shop .. so we decided to call mc delivery. blk 299 with no unit. .lol .. void deck ma.. but b4 we make that order.. Grace call .. i seek help from her to ask where is the nearest 24-hr coffee shop.. haha .. den she say at 102 tt side.. which was like behind us few blks only la.. lol .. so the coffeeshop is like the oasis at the desert. most of us have nasi lemak or mee/bee hoon .. and drinks. den we go back to the maltida hse. .this time there was ard 10 cars and 10 motorbikes near the hse. wa laoz.. lol..

but we wait a while they went off le.. so hack care them .. haha .. we went in .. finally.. it was a huge mansion.. or a hse.. haha .. torn old.. we climb in the gate and went ard.. jiansheng and wen wen scare le.. haha .. but i wasn't lol .. then we walk around the hse 1st and took lots of pictures .. we climb up to the 2nd floor and went in the hse.. torch light prepared so everything was no in darkness.. darwin n me took turns to walk in front.. we search the whole place and found nothing much except graffiti and torn down things.. there was three big rooms. a kitchen and a open balcony? lol .. not v sure .. so all of us decided to go as we search the whole place le..

after most of us climb down to the ground again .. me and darwin wanted to walk in the hse again just 2 of us with lousy touchlights.. this time is different.. more creepier and darker.. we went to stand on balcony and walk ard again .. den we decide to off the torchlight to add on to the challenge.. and *tick* total darkness.. this is when i start to feel scare.. haha ..so was darwin .. but soon we find our way out and climb to the ground.

We waited for the 1st train , only siong and wenwen taking cab home 1st.. haha ..17 dollar nia! cheap cab.. lol ...

pictures of this trip will be upload soon i hope.. =)

-YzW- next trip to be confirmed. Interested? tag me!

Last paper!

2007-03-30T03:35:00.000+08:00

yea.. tml is my last paper... woohooo ... though it is the hardest.. but who cares.. lol .. as long as tml had in the paper... i am going to enjoy.. .. lol ... actually i am already enjoying ... wahahaha ...
lastest transcript came.. 3.68 .. nt bad eh? but sure drop.. hope dun drop below 3.6 .. lol

next few days i am not going to come home .. lol .. either partying with myfrens or wadsoeva la.. let my hair down ? eh.. no long hair.. wahahaha .. going to play play play before my attachemnt.. =x// but my parents have already complain to me that i been coming home v late.. dunno will they approve my abscence .. lol ... i doubt so.. =x

Finally.. lol .. grad nite on sat.. after tt shud be party.. but i am low on my cash .how.. steal .. good idea.. but risky .. haha.. dun care la.. attachment coming i better enjoy now.. if not i will not haveany more time..

stupid laptop.. so laggy.. i type some words missing.. lol..so dun blame my spelling.. is not typo .. but my toot laptop.. shall blog when there is exciting news. lol.. bye!

-YzW- few more hrs it's over!!!

Exam?

2007-03-26T05:53:00.000+08:00

Yea man . wahaha.. it's the time of the year when exam stresses us again .. For this time, totally no confidence at all .. lol ... in some subject i guess... luckily there is only 4 .. not 5 or 6. . but seriously.. dun wish my GPA to drop man .. wanna maintain it as high as i can.. haha.. hopefully, i can even raise it.. ya .. hopefully..

My good fren jiting still in Chengdu, China.. hopefully he is doing fine there eh? wad eva that is.. dun be sad of what happen k .. this kind of thing always happen around us.. dunno why for our group of buddies, things dun turn for us always.. though u arethe highest potential of having a good relationship but come on .. there is still other oppurtunites i guess.. unlike me.. ghaha... pinning my hope on her for years..

Hmm .. a lot of hopefully thing eh? well .. i read this quote which i find it really meaningful .. If u dun get what u wanted.. why not think about things u dun get which u dun wan .. can understand? =) .. so i just be a happy go lucky guy ba.. haha.. enjoy ur life to the fullest and not spending times feel down.. wasted ? of coz.. if things dun go ur way or things sadden u , of coz one will feel sad, but do spend just a few time on dwelling on it and go on eh? it's impt. It will determine ur morale den on .. so all my frens and those who read my blog.. dun emo too much .. haha.. if needed.. take a time enjoy what is happening around for u .. if u need a listening ear.. i am here! always.. i hope.. haha..

Yea.. relationship sux for people who dun have it their way.. but think on other side.. if relationships are so smooth for you.. do u ever learn gow to cherish? do u learn abt the importance the one who really treasure u .. ? i have learnt. .and defintely do not wan to forget what i have suffered.. so before anyone of u go thru what i have been thru.. do cherish people ard u .. these people are hard to come by in recent society.. haha.. naggy rite.. but my words contain powerful message k .. haha. gtg slp le.. tired.. zZzz..

-YzW- happy!!!! <-- must stay this way! =)

Blog Up Again!

2007-03-24T15:35:00.000+08:00

Hey, sorry for the past 2 months i haven been blogging. Reason is due to my stupid laptop. Haha.. Well .. if u wan to know more about my laptop , the conclusion of it is that it has more than 50k virus. whaahha. .

Well... what have been going on this 2 months is that i have met up with my secondary skool frens... today going to meet pri skool one.. haha.. and... I have pass my driving test! i have my licence lo! =x

Soon i am going for attachment le.. at Raffles Hotel .. exam is just around the corner...hopefully i can excel in it again .. Though i know it is going to be hard.. wahahaaha .. I dun wan my GPA to go any lower le.. so must put in effort lor.

Relationship.. hmm .. her birthday just pass.. i din bbuy anything expensive for her la.. tight on cash nowadays.. hope she dun mind. But i think she have changed a lot ba.. but i know i still love her lots.. well... nature take it course? why nort..

Needa go meet my pri skool frens le.. bye!

-YzW- Driving licence lehx.. dun play play .. =x

Hotel Attachment!

2007-01-30T01:00:00.000+08:00

Oh man .. i really wan to go marriott and happily settle there.dun wan to waste time finding le... so i better sent the mai asap so i got a chance.. i also not really sure whether what other choices shud i take.. i know all hotels are good in the sense whereby they treat their staff not bad.. but the thing i need to consider is transportation and enviromnetal factor.

Orchard area i have str bus.. suntec no, for havelock rd hotel even no bus.. so i only can consider going orchard.. but wondering which of these shud i realy apply .. marriot is my top choice.. after that i really duno le.. haha.. mayb goodwoodpark? mayb hyatt? or mayb WAD? haha

ok .. my eyes are still sore.. from last thur till now.. doc all together given me 4day mc.. aiyo .. so many... dunno how to use.. if dun go miss to much lesson .. haha .. so i chose to go today .. and guess wad.. i wore sunglasses to sch.. haha.. everyone thot i mad.. lol .. even the trainer say is the sun v bright today? some student say , 'what' with his sunglass' lol .. thot i wan act cool.. lol .. but i hack care la.. at least all the trainers care for me.. ask feeling better le ma.. and most suprisingly .. this guy name DARWIN LEE.. lol .. send me a testi call me t recover soon ..lol .. so gay .. so fag.. but thanks lots bro .. love u too.. wahahahaha .x=

I wanna have new fone..!!! but no model suits me.. so WTF .. lol... is it that i am choosy or wad? lol.. i duno .. what can i say man .. lol .. i see sony eric wad eva is not bad but not really what i looing for.. sumsung not bad.. but the keypad look at the same.. nokia i v scare of using le.. haha. shud i get a slide phone, or a flip phone or a nth phone.. hmm .. any comments?? tag me if u have intro hoh!!!

hmm.. my TP coming.. zhenguang keep stressing me sia..but i have confident.. !!! i will pass . with flying colours.. just hope tt that day the traffic light dun colouful also la.. if not v troublsome.. lol.. hmm .. better pass.. den i have my driving licence for life.!! yea! haha.. let's all come togethr and support me!! wahahaha... =x

getting late.. blog other timE .. nites

-YzW- pass TP

Not a very good year

2007-01-22T02:27:00.000+08:00

hais.. not a way to start a day , with man u losing to arsenal.. .y.. .y can't juz things go happy for me... i dun wan to feel like this.. everything so sux.. what can i do to change all this.. i like what jiting say ..? karma? hais.. if really so .. den i would suffer this karma for more than 2 years.. mayb even more than 5.. wad the hell i wrong with my life... i need support.. i really think i need.. i no longer strong enuff to tell myself i am capable.. i no longer can say i am zhengway , the confident one.. everything's change.. everything is different..

who can lift me up .. though i am a high ego guy .. but i truely know i am going down the slope .. emo-in now.. mayb i shud be labelled e emo-king in class man.. though i dn show it.. but deep down i know.. i always know that i am suffering from all this thoughts.. hope is always given to me but in the end things just happen within seconds and hope is all gone.. why .. is so painful and i dun wish things to be going this way .. mayb i have lost my vision.. my goals.. i m just going for things that is just temporal..

how can i tell mysel i am able.. how to lift myself up .. how to be a optimistic person .. how to accept failure and striv for success.. all i can think now is failure after failure.. not confident to try .. just hoping luck will come one day . i know this is not what i wan to be.. depend on luck .. but i see things go opposite of what i wan each and everytime .. i suddenly realise that i shud juz accept my fate .. but what is fate ? definition of fate is a bad word to use when things go wron? bastard in relationship , stuck up in character , bad tempered. .all the bad ajective u can tink of mostly can descibe me.. so what shud i use on myself? still seaching in the dictionary for a v ultimate negative word.. anyone who know can tag it.. i dun mind.. i understand myself..

-YzW- no longer capable..

School

2007-01-13T13:20:00.000+08:00

sorry guys , i gonna stop posting the genting.. lol.. it's a month back.. anyone still interested may visit zhenguang blog. =)

This term has been great.. only 4 modules.. haha.. and no so stress.. good la.. some more school nowadays has been v lively.. everyone in class in communicating with one another.. playing , joking ard.. mayb cause is the like term we gonna see each other b4 we go into attachment.

Yea.. talk abt attachment.. no very sure which hotel i wan to go .. so excited but yet afraid of hotel life.. coz most is 6 day week and timing is so inconsistent. so not sure whether will i change or shud i say my life change. haha.. that really depends.. i may miss sch.. haha..

My good buddie Jinhong has went into Army just yesterday . Lol... hope he is doing well ... all the best for him ba.. he shud be enjoying for the 1st 2 week .. haha ... this few days have been great for me.. not becoz of many things change. but becoz my way of seeing things have change. haha.. everyone needs to understand that no matter how sad or bad things happen.. life must stll go on .. so why not let it be a happy process? rite? haha..

got projects this term too .. woah .. quite a lot coz got grp and individual projects. but i tink i will discipline myself and do it ba.. haha .. school has change be it physically or the atmosphere.. better i guess.. though some usual faces have gone.. but did not impact me much perherps. haha..

next month is my traffic police test.. argh!! must must pass!! come on. i can do it!! haha... u guys must support me k .. at most i give u all free ride when u guys urgenty need it and also when ifree la. .wahahah .. also when my dad is not using the car.. lol.. so i will do my best to pass.. woo0hoo .. antiipating the test so much ...hehe

nothing much to post also ... chrsitmas and new year was fun with my buddies.. yea.. still guys.. but hey .. happiness doesn't mean u need to spent it with gals.. lol.. we guys can do lots of funny and fun stuff too .. lol .. wan to know wa? hang out with us den ..lol. ..

=) jinhong .. jiayou!!

-YzW- beginning to love my life..

Genting 2nd Day

2007-01-03T02:52:00.000+08:00

Firstly, Happy New Year to All Of You!
Sorri for the long delay for the 2nd posting. haha

Anyway , due to the 1st day late night activities, we woke up around noon and have our.. ermm.. breakfast/lunch or brunch at marrybrown. Haha.. almost the same concept as KFC. haha.. I order dunno wad spicy burger and the quality so so la.. haha.. weisiong and jason say their throat not feeling good so they went our place to get their stomach full .

Afterthat , we wanted to go t the theme park but it was so foggy and wet that most of the thrill rides were closed. so wad the hell man .. two years in the row i cannot play lehx. =(. Most of us were sad and disappointed. so wad else can we do on the 2nd day? haha.. we went to the SPA again .. lol.. this time was great coz 13 boys ! lol .. went to spa together.. we experience 4 different temperature of water and steam room and sauna. haha.. fun enuff.. lol.. so relaxing.. those who haven try SPA before. shud try it. But beware of the water.. We took mins to get into the super hot one and the super cold one.. lol .. but once ur body is adjusted, cool man , so relaxing. haha.. we spent almost 4 hrs inside? lol .. can't remember.

After that, we went to the same place last year and took pictures . Now 13 of us.. haha.. with some post too man haha.. so cold and cool .. lol ...

after that, we decided to erm erm erm walk around , again, haha.. Jona wanna watch Eragon , but the seats were all packed. haha.. so jona was sad , and we just walk ard serpately, den me,weisiong, darwin , shiwei , lainhong, alan , and jiting went into the Haunted house. hahaha. scary la, but not too the extreme.. hehe.. after we went to eat at the zhi cha at the cheap cheap place.. lol .. we order around 6 big dishes and it cost RM180 for 13 of us.. cheap rite? haha .. yea .. den we went back to hotel to play cards again .
after a while, went to starbucks have some coffee, and saw nicole! haha.. she's still working there.. haha.. den we went back hotel to slp .

Of coz , in between that we visit the niang tou fu stall frequently!!!

-YzW- 3rd day will be up !!!!

Back From Genting

2006-12-24T04:43:00.000+08:00

=) A Success Trip!

Haha.. so much to talk !

Who: Me , Jiting, Lianhong, Zhenguang, Weisiong, Jason, Shiwei, Guansoon, Darwin, Wenhao, Jonathan, Alan, Jinhong

Yes. 13 of us went to genting for a 4D3N trip. Haha..

1st Day

All of met at IMM mcdonald and have a quick breakfast.. den we set off on the bus to KL .
After 5 hours, we reach KL and took a 3 cabs up to genting! So when we reach genting, we went to check in into the 'Theme Park Hotel'

Suprisingly, the rooms that i book was damn big !! Big till 13 of us can squeeze into one. I booked 2 big one small. The small was the usual one, but the big was family suite! haha.

After that we unpack and get ready to enjoy ourselves at Genting! Firstly, we went to First world to have our dinner, and it was expensive and not delicious at all. But bo bian , so after that we went to see the movie times for arragon. Unfortunately, no seats were left. Jona was sad.. haha.. So we walk around and went to the usual shops again. Haha.. so walk walk walk , went to lots of shops, try lots of different thing and finally we settle down at the rock climbing section again. However, this time i was not the one climbing! it was Lianhong(Leonx) vs Jonathan!

Eventually , leonx won .. haha... too bad jonathan , he gave up half way. So off we went off the rock climbing area and we saw a choir in christmas costume, including santa claus. They were ready to Sing! so we DI SIAO as usual. They start off with the song Santa coming to town. So 13 of us, none of us know how the lyrics go except for the part ' Santa Clause is coming to town' So for that section we sing along LOUDLY , and everyone was laughing and enjoying, of coz we ourselves feel great and not embarressed at all . Rather proud actually.

After that we went to starbucks and guess who i saw! Nicole! haha.. the girl that we met last year. Haha.. she's still there. But she's not off work till 5 on monday, so we tell her we come back tml. Off we went back to the hotel. I was so cold when we were walking outdoor, Darwin even took off his shirt. lol .. Damn cute la he.. haha.. good that he came along. Bring more laughter man .. aha.. So when we reach back , we start . ahem .. gambling? lol .. and blackjack, in between . And i was the big winner! lol .. cannot disclose the amt i won . So after that we went to walk again for supper? lol .. and eventually we found a area which sell Great Food at Cheap price. wOah .. Guess wad, is a niang tou fu stall haha.. and we enjoy eating there. And there is a convenirent shop there selling at lower rate than other shops . Though the area is not indoor, but is under a building and wet. But WHO CARES!!!

After that we went back to slp ...

-YzW - 2nd day of Genting trip update to be continue......

Ruin

2006-12-15T02:38:00.000+08:00

I tink i am ruining my life.. hais.. why ? i not sure.. i been spending time doing things i like but not very benificial to my future.. like wad? playing all day .. not improving myself but doing things tt just bring temporal entertainment to me.. I am afraid , come to tink of it, i should be more discipline about my life.. but no matter what, my playful part still took control of me. What can i do? i am afriad to get discipline coz eventually i may not be doing things i love to.

What's my aim in life? just earning myself certs and get a goof basic pay ? or aiming high in life and do well? i really do not know. Everyday seems like a day wasted when i tink about my future, but everyday seems to be wisely use when i tink of satisfaction. How? This is obviously a bad sign. It shows that i am not looking forward for my future which i should. No matter what, i feel irony about everything i do. Should i stop?

Another thing is she's always hovering around in my mind. I miss her, yet i do nothing to get her. Is not that i have not done anything before but is just tt i have no confidence in myself. Is already dampen to the lowest whereby it takes either a miracle or a very strong courage for me to pick myself up agin and win her hearrt... my buddies tells me to go for her.. but shud i? i am still holding back coz is hard for me to hear the same answer again from her. She's totally not interested in me. How to i win her heart, make a feel something abt me. Dun ask me to forget her, if i do forget her, it just temporary , coz the next thing i know, i still have lots of feelings for her.

Damn it, i am so depressed whenever i tink abt it, but i have no answer to this problem. I can't back out, neither can i go for it. This is so unbearable. Motivation and encouragement is much needed. Even if she can be my gf for a day, i am sure tt day will be the happiest dayof my 18 yrs. Some may tink i am stupid. why let go of the forest just becoz of this tree. Let me tell u that this tree is not just a tree , it values much more than the forest. It is a unique tree. A tree which i always feel comfortable and want to rest on . What does it take for me to do to get her habour feelings for me? i know i still need to live my life, and i am not living my life for her. but how wonderful it will be if she is in my life. It just like the rainbow complement with the sky. But right now, it's all dark clouds covering my sky.

By not thinking about it, i know i am just avoiding my relationship issues, and it will come back and haunt me. but after so long, no answers can be found. or mayb there is, whereby i will get hurt hurt so much that i lost my sense of love. Which may not be a good ending for me. how? if things aren't tt difficult, i would slp soundly everyday. hopeful for the ending to be a great one, just like fairy tale. But everyone know fairytale are just fiction. In reality, it takes more than just fairytale, need to over come obstacles and tribulations then u get what u want, further more, reality is cruel, after all the effort , u may end up with nothing. mayb just the process of pursuing. I dun wish to end up tt way.

-YzW- i need confidence to get the right answers!

Exam over. Holiday

2006-12-11T02:40:00.000+08:00

Wo0o0oho0o0o.. It's holiday for me! A long awaited one.. yes... i am going to have fun for this one month man .. no matter what.. lol.. please dun stop me.! wahhahha .. Have made plans for this one month.. actually i predict that this one month will pass v fast.. why ? coz i oversea trip/christmas/new year. It's all one after another .. soon my sem starts again . lol.

Though i think my exams will not far better than my previous terms. But who cares! it's holiday and i should have fun ! hahah.. for 2006 .. shatec hasn't been kind holidays. This is only my first offical holiday in 2006. During march, there was ASIAN AEROSPACE! no holiday. During June, there was OUTLET ATTACHMENT! no holiday. during Sept, there was IMF WORLD BANK. no holiday . So! you should understand why i feel so happy now. lol .. no more stress... lol.. hmm ... in terms of school work la i mean. lol.

Anyway .. feel that i waste sat and sun.. lol .. not actually totally wasted.. but not as much fun as i expected. Was planning to MOS .. but too tired.. tink exhausted after the exams. Hmm.. dun care.. i wan to have fun this week .. Those who needs company! TEXT ME OR CALL ME.. lol .. though i still will consider. .lol ..

Hmm..most of my friends having exams now.. all the best foor them ba.. when ur holiday come.. let's enjoy together man !! Excited about my incoming genting trip. Though went last year but this year more ppl and more fun i guess..wahahah .. got ard 13 of us.. all boys.. lol =( no la.. guy i mean.. guy's outing.. .lol .. we will have fun!

Now inside my head v empty .. no more notes or projects to tink abt.. lol.. blank till dunno wad to do .. lol ... went to gym today with alan jinhong and the rest... wah.. we a;ll stretch and train man .. looks like i am going on tues also .. haha.. we training up our body.! yea .. look more man! wahahaha .. muz man man a bit.. dun still so small size.. give ppl bully.. lol ..

Hmm ... so so sad when i heard that one of my fren doubt me.. kaos.. so yuan wang lor.. hais.. dun feel like talking to her again .. say till i am such a ******* .. nvm .. lol. . haha .. hope she dun say or doubt me again ..

eh.. nothing much to blog le.. haha.. will update more regularly le.. haha.. so stay tune! sorri my blog always so wordy no picture one. coz i am one who dun like bringing camera ard.. haha ..

-YzW- Precious one month

Exams

2006-12-03T04:45:00.000+08:00

Is time for exams again .. and there goes my brain juice again . have to work hard to maintain my GPA or even increase it if possible.. i hope so .. lol. .there are some modules that i am comfortable with but there are some which i need to work v hard to get the grades i want.

Monday- Saturday is my final term exams before i enter my one month holiday. Hope i can do well .. and not so stress la.. lol .. got lots of things to do .. project haven finish .. left one more.. which total add up to ard few thousand words. haha.. so this week will be a crucial week for me..

Today went to Yingling hse for steamboat.. went together with alan ben , jiting and zhenguang also not forgetting guansoon.. after that jason and lianhong came too .. when i reach yingling hse.. we were not ready for dinner yet.. haha.. den watch soccer 1st .. after that we went to eat dinner.. so hot man .. the steamboat steam keep coming my way.. and alan and jason block the fan ... -.-" ..

After we chat chat. steph and xinyi follow by shujun arrived.. xinyi still as bubbly and steph as usual except she hates her haircut? lol.. i din see anything bad abt her hair.. lol .. but she dislike it i tink . We went on watching more soccer matchess.. ending up at 4 den we decided to go home.. nothing much to do . me alan and lianhong took a cab.. and i told them shud be 7.50 dollar la.. den really 7.50.. den uncle ask me why i so zhun .. lol ..

Reccomended by Zhenguang.. Li Shen Jie - 最近
Nice song.
Anyway .. i still wondering shud i change my blogskin .. getting abit boring le. lol.. Johnny suggest some but i tink he need to use it so let him ba.. i still searching for some that suits me .. lol.. the problem is i dun even know what suits me.. so tt's hard to find yea? i dun wan emo skins.. nor sports skins.. just some casual and nice cool looking skin with my fav. colours.

Hm.. always feel that i dun understand my feelings.. that result me making lots of wrong decision. Sometimes is my perception which leads me making those wrong decisions. Worst still is when i know whats the outcome.. yet i still do it.. hais.. I know i am confuse abt my feelings.. but i know no matter what.. is always her that makes me feel i wan to be in love. but i tink falling in love is one thing and ending up with her is another. what i can do is enjoy the falling in love process? coz i know ending up with her will not happen so easily unless a miracle happen . or shud i say more than 1 miracle. just love her .. hais.. mayb i shud really get a emo skin .. =
Din know people like fiona will read my blog.. but always nv tag. i see my tag only those usual one ma.. i thot few people reading only.. but din know some of u read . tag la.. if not i thot my blog will be boring.. only xinyi support me only.. lol . will keep bloggin even if the fact no body reads it coz i treat this blog as place to let out wad i cannot do in reality . haha..

-YzW- all the best for my exams.. =D

Ideal girl

2006-11-27T03:20:00.000+08:00

Just feel like sharing with my friends what my ideal girl is like. lol.. yah .. ideal..

Ideal Girl

- Loves me
- Understand me
- Needs me
- Care for me (occasionally)
- Share her secrets with me
- Trust me
- Have her own opinion
- Presentable
- Watch soccer with me, or at least let me watch.lol
- Know my mood
- Know my personality
- Never show me attitude
- Never controls ME
- Share each other interest
- LOL !! a lot rite? most imptly

FEELINGS
even if the girl have all the above but i have no feelings towards her. i dun dare to take on the relationship.

Actually... if i really do love a girl. v deeply,
i am willing to give up my commitments for her.
such as watching my fav soccer matches, playing com games
If she needs me , i'll be there for her.
However, she too must understand me eh.. i believe relationship is a give and take issue.
There must be trust in between though it takes lots of thought to get it right.

I must say, there is only one gal which only can make me feel crazy about her.
But, being crazy is one thing, winning her heart is another. I think friends is as far as she wants to go.

Sometimes i don't understand my feelings, crushes confuse me... but when it comes to true love. I experience quite a no. of times.

True love (my defination)

If i don't see her for a long time, or i forget the existance of her.
But when i see her again, the inside emotional feeling suddenly rekindle agian.
The girl can make me give up doing things i like.
I will get excited when i recieve a sudden sms from her, and i make sure she get my reply
When i see her in person , i talk things that is unnecessary
When she smiles or tease me, i enjoy it.
I always feel that i need her every now ad then.

Is not easy to find the right partner that is going to last long with you.
Nowadays, relationship ends shortly unless one is committed and the love is still going strong.
Is hard for me to say 'will you stead with me' or 'be my gf' if i am unsure about the relationship
Crushes do makes me confuse but when it come to getting into a relationship, i am sure those crushes will not misled me.
I feel that i know who's the girl i love.
I may be wrong to close the door to other girls, but i just want to be fair to everyone as i do not want to hurt anyone unnecessarily.

I predict i will be single for quite some time.. lol.. as the girl i love will never be with me.
I always sees it as a normal thing as being single is also a great life.

-YzW- ideal girl? wadeva.. feelings is what i count on.

18th for Zg

2006-11-26T22:46:00.000+08:00

Wo0... yi was right! i only blog once a week.. =x.. wahaa... no time la.. and sometimes lazy to log in .. yup .. last friday was Zhenguang 18th birthday . And we went to MOS to celebrate for him . It was his long awaited time to go clubbing man .. wonder after that day , he likes to club ma.. lol ... if he does, hope he doesn't jio me to go every week man ... wahhaha.. but that day was a superb nite for me i guess..

I finish my driving lesson and went to pick up a spare hp from ercong hse.. uRgh . .phone spoil again .. so have to lend from er cong lor. . haha .. after that .. jiting called and say meet at je and go together to city hall and meet up with zg and the rest.. lol .. As usual .. both of us met late .. haha .d.en we took a train to city hall ...

Pearly , ben and marilyn was already there with Zg.. together with weisiong and wen hao , jinhong.. den pearly ben and marilyn leave le lor.. den we keep persuading ws to go with us.. he at first did not want to go as he has work the next day . In the end.. he say , aiya .. go la go la.. lol ..

So after a while... lianhong join us too.. together with jason , eugene and jonathan coming even later.. but there was huge bunch of us ... zg called some of his poly frens too .. so there was quite a lot of ppl there. So we enter MOS to club.. wo0h00 .. zg was so excited man .. wahaha .. after that.. we wanna find seats.. but normally all booked.. so hack la.. we get ourselve some berr at 7 elven near by .. den get the complimentary drink .. after that.. Get In The Cage! whahaha.. then all the 1st timer din know wad to do .. lol.. but they slowly gel in ...

Jiting as usual was the predator! wahaha ... within seconds, he was gone.. lol... we met alywin there too .. after that , we start to lose everyone.. dunno where's everyone... den we slowly call , find and search and finally we were outside MOS again... Jonathan brought a Black label .. so i just took a shot.. din know how much did the rest take.. haha

after.. we went in agian .. and this time round .. woah .. all in the cage.. lol .. and we were dancing ard.. and we have this four gals .. and .. ... ... .. .. . i dunno wad to say .. lol... there was this pretti looking one.. lol.. but found out she was 21.. wahaha.. but who cares abt age man .. so i just dance with her and the rest dance with the frens la..

The girls den left and we also leave.. only jiting inside still !!!! =X .. after that.. we went ard the club.. dancing at the main arena too .. for just a short while.. time flies fast.. so we went home .. and i was tired.. zZzz.. next day have 3 on 3 competiiton...

-The next day-

Met up with alan and jinhong .. went t suntec and compete the 3 on 3 competition.. reach there and have our breakfast.. den found out that we are playing the 1st game.. we were placed in grps and there are ard 30 teams.. in order to qualify for the quarter final.. we must top the grp .. which means cannot lose any of the 3 fixtures with the other teams in our grp..

The 1st game was pretty ok , the opponent were not strong.. but we played damn lousy .. but still win la.. by a small margin .. after that.. our next game was like 4 hrs away .. so we went for lunch .. and came back to the court and observe our opponent.. haha .. So the second game comes.. we were DOWN by 4 point when half time reach .. it was 4-0 .. lol .. after that .. we organise ourself and we eventually edge out 5-7 .. haha.. so eventually we top our grp and went into top 8 .. den .. hais.. disppointing play again .. and out we go from the tournament.. lol .. went home ..

later man u vs chelsea.. all the best man u .. must win!!!

-YzW- memories..

BBQ

2006-11-19T13:00:00.000+08:00

Jiting's bbq for those who finish the A's .. lol.. such as Jin hong and Alan.. not forgetting marilyn. haha.. there's a huge turn up for the bbq.. me and jiting went to collect beehoon , satays.. and many more item s... so heavy when only both of us carry those things to jason hse.. the bbq is held near jason hse..

I reach there with alan at ard 6 plus .. and there is quite a no. of them there le. they have already start the fire and eat the beehoon with curry . lol.. i ate only a little..
There were lianhong, jiting , zhenguang, pearly, benedict, weisiong, yi xin , guan soon ,wen hao, jonathan , marilyn , jin hong , alan , joyce, shahibu , jensen , jason . that's basically all of them ba.. hope i din left out anyone of them ... haha...

we eat, play card, talk jokes and bbq... there is quite a no. of alcoholic liquors there.. wahaha.. i brought one Vodka there too.. haha.. basically nothing much to say .. coz bbq is eat play talk only ma..

hmm .. hais.. just feeling so miserable after yesterday .. regret doing something in front of her.. or even telling her.. really.. at that point of time.. i din tink much .. i thought she wouldn't have notice.. but .. hais... i wan to stop le.. no more for me... i wan to listen to wad she says.. i just feel that chances are there.. but yet i screw it up again ... and it was like so damn sad.. everything was cool at 1st.. mayb i tink too much again .. i know i always never gonna cross tt line..

feel so remorseful right now.. plus the guilt tt i have done agianst jiting.. wad the hell man .. why i seem to always mess up things man.. let me have a complete change.. a change that i will undergo being a different person.. coz i tink the way i am now makes everyone unhappy.. hais..

anyway . Alan.. Happy 18th Birthday!

-YzW- i want u .. but it seems so impossible...

Blogskin not found yet!!

2006-11-16T23:59:00.000+08:00

wahahaha... still cannot find one blogskin to my liking... i am not choosy k .. just dun have the blogskin that i tink suit my blog and my style.. lol ... hmm .. been quite busy nowdays.. so nv blog.. yi scolding me liaoz.. one week one update! not enuff rite? lol... try la hor... not easy to come to blogger.com everyday and wrtie essay .. lol ..=x

Recently been preparin all the projs and doing all the test..hais.. so busy ? quite actually.. have to keep all the details in the head so that nothing will be left out.. haiyo.. busy yet not completed yet. still got quite some time to go man .. project dued coming . All the things need to chiong and get completed..

still staying up late.. duno why cannot slp .. sianz... next day tired.. so bored.. everytime in class.. struggling .. mustn't fall asleep .. lol ... yah.. sometime made it.. sometime din. .lol .. dun care la.. today got back my transcript.. got GPA = 3.63 ... increase by 0.03 .. lol .. still not satisfied la.. hais... thot will end higher.. nvm la.. will see how it goes..

tml going to tiger brewery .. lol .. drink beer.. free flow.. but cannot get drunk la.. haha... dunno whether it will be fun or nort.. hope can experience something great there... tml only got english lesson .. after that will be setting off to the brewery le.. will go until ard 6 ba.. haha.. quite long ar.. after that gonna rush down play bball .. haha.. it will be fun tml as many of them finish their A's le.. yeah!! happy for them... they finally free from studies le..lol.. for this while.. haha..

sianz.. i still got 3 weeks to go .. my holiday then come.. faster come la!! haha.. buay tahan .. today den got to know that my exam willbe a 6 day strectch thinggy .. wah.. means that saturday also ahve to come back and take exam . .which is ridiculous.. argH!! .. stupid school.. cannot flexible abit .. =x..
just came home frmo downstairs.. lainhong and jiting came to my area and have dinner.. den we play dota.. wah.. i lose.. sianz.. bu fu qi .. but nvm la.. tell myself jus a game... dun get so fed up over it.. haha. next time then win back lor..

stupid hotmail.. i needa do project and all the files in there.. i cannot access .. sianz.. how .. cannot even do man .. needa chiong liao ... zZZZ.. stupid la.. so fed up with the server.. kaoz... my com also deterioating.. must reformat soon le la... arGh!!!!!!!! =x

-YzW- great weekend awaits

Wow

2006-11-13T01:46:00.000+08:00

on sAt. was actually v v tired.. coz din sleep and needa to go to skool for our sub-event. It was quite successful but i know i am damn tired .. lol.. after finish the event, it was raining again! .. hais.. den i quickly went home and get myself a nap as i have to go out in the evening at 6.. reach home around 3.. den quickly took a shower and slp till 6!

tat means. i am late!! wahahah.. was going out with emmie (my tutor) , ws , libing and yixin de.. but then the emmie says she cannot make it.. den wanna cancelled.. but in the end the rest still wanna go out.. den i bo bian lor.. when i was slping.. lianhong called me at ard 4? say meet 530 to go town .. den i say okok .. coz i v tired.. den i continue slping.. haha.. den zg call me again ask whether i meeting them or going with ws they all .. i say urh. together together la.. lol ..

As i was late.. i told them i will go town myself.. so i get onto 502 and went to town .. was late.. damn late actually.. den when i reach there.. there are many people already. Weisiong, lianhong, zhenguang, pearly, benedict, yixin. oh.. this means libing is later than me .. haha.. i met them at lido and we walk towards heeren to have our dinner at Vila'ge.. which previously know as MarchE la.. lol .. went in .. wah.. expect my dinner to be ex le.. lol .. so i have lamp chop at 6.80 plus a ham and cheese crepe at 7.80 but my crepe was halve with lainhong.. so cheaper.. lol ..

During the dinner.. libing came .. den i saw Jason too! lol .. so more and more people.. so after our dinner.. we went str to Far east shopping mall which is beside forum . along the way .. it was so fun to walk with them.. we play, laugh , joke , do lots of funny things .. haha.. damn cool but dumb in a way actually.. lol .. weisiong even walk on the wall.. lol..

we started to play pool.. only some of us play de la.. but den .. suddenly.. i saw a gal !! .. shit man .. it was yvonne.. and i try to avoid her .. coz i owe her a mcdonald meal.. -.-.. in the end i gave her $5 to buy drink.. lol.. sian la.. lol.. haha.. den after that jiting and jonathan together with eugene came.. lol.. so many people now.. lol .. after pool.. it was 10 plus.. so we went to play battlefield.. yx has left, libing and yvonne playing pool.. the rest went to play or watch battlefield.. half way thru our game.. zhenguang , pearly ben and eugene went off le..

we ffinished our game.. and manage to catch the last train.. on the train .. guess who i saw.. shiying!! lol.. she just off from her work.. so qiao rite.. lol.. den i hack care the rest and sit with shiying.. den we talk abt both her attachment hotel and shatec lor.. lol.. she seems tired.. jiayou k shiying... i see her like v jialat le.. but only 1month plus went by.. tinking that i have to do the same for a year.. woah .. sick man .. lol... din know my life will be so cham .. wahahha..not for now at least..

here comes the most happening and fhilarious part of the day.... it was jurong east mrt station.. so i bid farewell to shiying coz she is going to take the middle train .. which was the last train.. so i went to ws, jon , jason ,lh, and jiting.. and they were looking at something.. so i thought wad.. they told me there was a gal.. so i look and look.. suddenly.. behind me i heard 'ding dong, door closing. du du du du du du du du du du' den i look at jiting.. and say .. hey .. ur last train go le.. lol ... everybody looks at the train departing from the station.. even shiying who saw zhenguang who left off earlier at town was in the train laughing at jiting.. wahahaha.. den we all laugh at jiting.. he bo bian .. den we went to entertainment centre and play dota.. see la jiting.. look at gal somemore.. lol ..

after dota game.. i rush home to catch man u match which had already started.. it was still 0-0 .. so sianz.. at half time.. i went to bath.. and catch the second half.. at ard 70 min .. louis saha score! yea! lol .. so blackburn 0 - 1 Man u .. we regain top of the table again .. haha.. hmmm.. at this moment .. i tink arsenal win liverpool le.. haiyo.. haha.. none of my buisness.. =x

-YzW- changing blogskin soon..

weekend

2006-11-05T17:13:00.000+08:00

Always anitcipate for weekends to come when i am still dwelling in the weekdays.. haha.. when it comes.. u plan to do lots of things... v. excited abt it.. but in the end after doing it.. nothing much special.. haha

on friday... wad a busy day it was.. school... went for driving lesson , den went to collect my pay.. den go to bball.. haha.. after that.. have dinner and went to jason hse to play mahjong .. yah.. again! .. lol.. the whole day moving abt and doing lots of activities which require so much energy.. lol.. of coz when i reach home i was dead flat on my bed.. lol..

saturday starts only at 3pm .. lol. .coz i only wake at at 3.. nth to do .. den weisiong call to go je and eat dinner.. den go lor.. haha.. after that play lan .. den go ws hse a while.. wah.. his room change formation le .. lol. become more spacious .. tink he likes it a lot.. haha.. after that i rush home for soccer matches.. lol.. man u against portsmouth.. and it was cool to see my fav team cruise to victory yet again .. hope it will last..

u guys shud be wondering do i spend my home weekend playing and sleeping? no need to do any work ? haha.. here comes the sunday where i have to get started to do my project and all my revision.. hrm.. actually not much revision.. mostly projects.. lol... and is so sian when doing it coz brain have to start working so hard that all the brain juices keep flowing ard the head.. lol..

yah .. monday no skool . coz is graduation day for some shatec courses.. guess is also a day to chiong project.. no matter what, must chiong le la... deadline is damn near.. bo bian ... things are not even half done yet..

Anyway , was wondering still got ppl reading what i post not.. lol.. mayb becoz no pics that;s why boring.. so wordy rite ... =)

-YzW- chiong project..

Nov is here

2006-11-02T02:08:00.000+08:00

Nov

- Pri school End-Year Exam
-Secondary school Holiday
-O lvl
-A lvl
-Poly school still on

What abt mine? lol.. it is going to be a damn busy and stressful month for me.. have tons of projcet to finish .. and some not yet even started and is due in like 2-3 weeks time.. shit man .. really don't have the mood to do projects.. but what can i say , it's must! oh shit.. just remmeber got homework to do.. but book left in the locker in school.. lol.... tml kanna liaoz.. =P

Hmm .. today was a quick day coz lesson only starts at 245.. wake up ard 10 plus and went do BBDC for driving lesson.. after that have a quick lunch before heading to school. So there was only one lesson and a test after that. A quick test , and went home in drizziling weather. Reach home then do nothing and play winning eleven le.. Been dota-ing consecutives for 3 days le.. lol.. though LAGGY .. but still play.. wahahah.. worse is johnny , he couldn't finish even 1 game.. always lag out.. haha.. poor thing.. today record.. 1 min lag out liaoz.. haven even see the creep start fightin den "Skype-Pullplug has left the game' wahhaha..

Today driving lesson was quite bad actually. din concentrate den my instructor was not happy .. haha.. den i put in effort .. den he pleased.. it's tiring to drive k .. have to keep doing all those checking and changing thinggy . but bo bian.. wan to get a licence, better do it .. if not fail on the test date.. have to wait another 6 months.. which is what the hell!

Hmm ... so excited about all those events(fun) that is planned ahead. Jiting bbq , zg birthday , Genting trip , holiday , christmas and new year. Then back to skool again -.- .. haha.. anyway .. i am going to have fun after this stressful month.. so if anyone see me on the street.. do not irritate me by saying u r having holiday k .. or i make sure u spend ur holiday in hospital.. lol.. jk nia.. so excited!! lol.. jinhong and alan .. now having their papers.. jiayou k .. =D

today went to pass a registration form to joyce.. bball 3 on 3 de la.. lol. .she also interested.. tt 3on 3 challenge ex lehx.. 60 dollar per team.. i better register soon.. if not no vacancies le den cannot play .. 60 dollar only get jersey.. haha.. but this time is indoor la.. lol .. dunno can play well nort.. hehe..

Hmm.. i dun feel good man .. dun like being stress.. though it will push me to perform .. but i dun like the feeling of pushing me to the edge and force me to use effort.. hais.. plus many things aren't going my way.. it is just like something is pushing u at ur back , wan to push u off the edge.. and there is nothing to hold on .. hmm .. obstacles, problems, challenges, difficulties are meant to be there against us.. if i overcome it , i know i will grow into another level. so .. have to overcome.. lol.. if not down the edge and hit the rock below.. haha..

So long nv see all my sec skool frens le.. i mean 4e6 peeps.. all tagging and say wanna meet.. guess i'll be organising a bbq on dec 16 ba.. on a sat.. hope u guys can make it.. wun make it at the east.. better for it to be at the west.. all must come! by the command of ZhengWay! =D .. will inform u guys about the details when the date draws near..

Jian guo ni de mei , wo hai neng ai shui
Wo yi lu de zhui , que yi leng qui bu xin hui!

wahhaha.. jiting's fav song..

-YzW- guess he and i have a same prob now.. = \

retribution (continued)

2006-10-31T00:21:00.000+08:00

She's like a rainbow in my life
When i first see it, i love it
However, the love gets stagnant
The rain has stopped
Rainbow fading away day by day
Yet i din even look at it and wave goodbye

Now i miss the rainbow
No longer in the sight
Wonder where have it been to
Wonder will it be back
Regret letting it go

Should i wait for the rain to come again
Or to find the rainbow on my own
Even if i found the rainbow
Will it still even take a glance at me
Or will it show no sympathy

Maybe the rainbow is happy enough
Even without the prescence of me
The rainbow has all its colours
But i am nothing without colours
I need the rainbow once again

All i wish and hope
Guess is all impossible
Still awaiting for miracles
That may not even happen
To the colourful and lovely rainbow, i am sorry.

-YzW-

Retribution!

2006-10-29T03:42:00.000+08:00

Wow.. this is sick man .. this thing has been coming back and haunt me for quite some time le.. hais.. i guess i deserve it too la.. been dreaming abt some things in the past.. something i feeel feeeeel so regretful of doing .. i keep tellin myself i shudn't have chose tt decision.. i am such an idiot.. worse , i make the same decision twice.. hais.. how i wish i can go back to that time whereby i still can enjoy the days ..

haha.. those reading my blog shud be wondering what the hell i am talking abt.. however, i can't spell it out.. as if someone reads it.. i am either done for or finished.. hmm.. but mayb i can leak out a bit.. relationship that is.. for all the relationship i been thru .. i guess this is the one which have the most impression in me i guess.. i dunno why .. i really dunno.. i just hope getting her back .. though it seem so impossible.. well .. i know i have not cherish the relationship.. i have let it go as and when i want.. and now i realise how dumb i was.. suddenly after the dream i had.. i miss her.. these dreams have been always coming again and again .. either to haunt me.. or to remind me that this things are hard to come by.. but what can i say .. should i let it be over.. let it be a memory .. or shud i try to get her back .. which is quite impossible as i have hurt her more than one could take it.. how bastard i am .. hais.. lol ..

anyway.. drop tt subject for a while.. i quit my job at can cafe.. mayb i am not up to it.. as the atmosphere ther is not what like.. i find it hard to work there as there is little motivation ... i still need to source for a transport back home.. haha.. so i feel is not worth it to work there.. yea.. the boss there also find me no attitude? lol.. wad eva..

shit man .. i am owing so much money .. Jiting-- 200 .. Zhenguang-- 14 , lianhong-- 18 .. alan-10 .. total --- 242.. lol... jiting tt 200 is coz i need to book my driving test ma.. so use 1st. i hope my imf pay come.. when it come.. can cover all the debts le.. lol.

today went to watch soccer and have dinner with zhenguang, lianhong, jiting and jonathan .. at boat/clark quey .. haha.. man u won 4-0 to bolten .. shiok man .. =X .. yea. also .. we went to MOS and found out tt there was a halloween party!! lol.. many cosplay .. beautiful and attractive cosplay .. though some irrelevent .. but still nice.. wahaha. took some pics with the people.. view it at www.flingster.blogspot.com soon.. tink lianhong haven upload yet.. after that .. we walk ard and went to starbucks.. saw hermi!! lol .. den he treat us drinks.. wahahah.. den .. suddenly .. saw my classmate IZHAR .. wahahaha.. so conincidence.. they work under the same starbucks.. wahahaha... after that me n lianhong went home by NR5 .. hmm .. we talk abt lots of funny thing on the way back.. haha..

now watching la liga.. so sian .. guess i go n slp now le ba.. will talk more abt my retribution.. lol.. =
-YzW- i wonder how u tink of me now..

work..

2006-10-25T01:46:00.000+08:00

oh man.. yesterday was my first day at work at can cafe.. and it was.. lolx... hmm.. the staff there is like only 4-5 .. lol.. one bar , one kitchen .. rest serve .. serving in a two storey seating area.. woah.. and it was like super pack .. lol..

on the first day itself .. i learn how to take order, cook also .. i met some of the collegues ther.. all not bad person .. haha.. david teach me how to cook and setup all the thinggys.. it was fun to be in the kitchen actually..

when serving, there's many thing to note.. woah. so i work from 8-2am ba.. quite tired.. veri xiong actually.. but good experience.. my boss is a v hmm.. how to say .. little bit den scold ppl liao de.. so i try to minimise the mistakes i done on that day.. but unlucki la.. stil kanna scold once for saying wrong table no. .. bo bian .. luckili i corrected the mistake quick if not i die.. work there like very stress like tt.. but i can handle it la.. lol.. hope everything goes well ..

hmm .. die .. some of the projs i haven start.. i think i need to do a headstart tml le.. if not i really cannot finish anything man .. die die.. got 4-5 projs leh.. and i only started doing like 1? lol.. shit.. dying man .. who can help .. sob.. hmm .. i better hang on.. so many things to do now.. still got driving lesson tml .. but tt is a good thing tt i can enjoy la. lol..

hmm.. so flingsters confirm going to genting lo! .. rooms booked.. so everything shud be in place.. oct coming to an end.. and nov is going to be one of the busiest time i will experience man .. work , driving lesson, proj dateline, test, preparations for exams.. kaoz.. wonder can i handle nort. i wun wan to quit the job.. i wan to earn money la.. siao liaoz la. lol.. hmm .. muz tink of a way to handle my time..

dun tink it's possible to play as much as b4 le.. and muz start slping early coz next day sure got things to do which require lots of energy .. haiyo .. lol .. need some one to pei wo suffer.. lol ... this burden who wan to carry with me? lol ... nah, dun tink anybody will wan to . lol.. moreover, i tink i have no time for relationship.. hmm .. hope i dun fall in love with anybody in this period ba.. wahahhaa.. =x

-YzW- supernatural strength!

got a job!

2006-10-22T02:56:00.000+08:00

pHew.. woke up at 1pm .. lol... coz the previous night was at MOS .. lol.. kerrine ad Fiona birthday ma.. they held it at MOS.. lol ... hmm.. quite a no. of ppl go.. even mr vincent tan was there.. then we play , dance, drink and fool around.. lol.. went to R&B too.. and it was damn fully pack .. lol ..

jus den .. one by one get drunk!! starting from fiona, den kerrine, den Vu.. and i was not drunk ..!! lol ... den i have to carry vu out of the toilet.. the sercurity wans me to carry him out of MOS from the emergency staircase.. lol.. den after a while .. all go home drunk le.. except some of us including me..wahahaha.. i controlled k! wahaha..

wake up at 1pm .. yes.. lol.. went to bugis for my job interview recommended by jonny.. hmm.. becoz of johnny, the manager den let me join the crew de.. if not they already have enuff staff le ba.. but one problem i am facing is transportation of going home. i am staying at jurong.. and it's at bugis.. manager do not wan to pay so much cab fare for me .. he say then he need to let me off b4 12.. den i say , nvm.. do till 2-3 lor.. as i wan to work more.. but.. hais.. now have to tink of way to go home after work .. another thing is that i have yet to tell my parents abt this .. if they know.. they sure will be angry .. i am going to tell them tml also .. haiyo.. lol.. hope everything will be alright..

After my job interview.. went to find zg and jiting at town.. walk around... at cine, paragon , taka.. going to LV !! MOUNT BLANC!! GUCCI! lol .. went in and take a look at items that we could not afford unless tio toto la. .lol ... haha .. hmm .. after that meet up pearly and benedict for dinner at kobayashi .. i had a scramble with teriyaki large! lol.. quite full .. den after that we went to Apple. . den see all the electronics there.. so wish to buy .. zg wanna the nano too .. lol ..
after that we went to watch soccer at balcony ... lol .. chelsea against portsmouth.. we watch till halftime .. and we are meeting lianhong after that.. not long after the second half started... chelsea scored.. den zg happy.. coz he bet scoreline 1-0 .. den he say .. let's go.. den we all go lor.. den i say i dun tink will end at 1-0 .. coz usually teams will get more attacking.. juz after i finish .. behind was a string of shouts of goal! .. lol .. 2-0 to chelsea.. and zg sadededededed .. lol .. =X. .. sori zg for my big mouth.. =X

after we met up lianhong at raffles , he just finish his work.. den we went home lor... then saw sec skool fren chunseng.. haha .. he still v cute lehx his face.. den we talking abt jiting attachment next year.. lolx.. mayb he going oversea.. he wishing too ... all the best ba.. go hongkong!! lol .. tt's wad zg wanted la.. haha... jurong east we parted ways .. i and lh as usual take the bus 334 home.. along the way talk abt our job lor.. haha.. den reach home and now here blogging.. actually wanna play dota de.. but den jt and lh dua me!! and till NOW i am still waiiting! =(

-YzW- good memories let me feel i have done wrong..

Human

2006-10-18T03:43:00.000+08:00

Human are judge by other humans around them.
Human react to things happening around them.
So what make each and every human different

Emotionally, physically, spiritually and what is going in each mind
Each and every one have their own personality and characteristic of oneself
Some are kind in nature, some have evil thoughts in them.

How will then one human be easily accept by others
Simply just this few factors

1) Emotional quotion

One with good EQ are easily well liked by people around them. They handle their emotion well and not letting it control over thier mind. Simply say that, Their Will power is greater than their emotional needs.

2) Attitude

Everyone have a purpose living on this earth. Some may know what is theirs, some may not.
Those who know should posses the right attitude to persue thier dreams and goals. And for those who do not know their purpose should not think life is a bad place to be in. Have a great attitude in life , people around you will be attracted by you.

This two things can easily make people around you be attracted to you. However, there are situation where unforseen circumstances will come into part. (Obstacles)

Jealousy, Mood swing, Laziness etc. this things will intervene you from having a good EQ and Attitude.

This post is to remind myself about achieving what i have said.

-YzW- with great attitude leds you to a high altitude in life

approaching another finishing

2006-10-15T03:29:00.000+08:00

october reach.. left with nov and dec b4 we call it another end of 2006. quite a no. of things have happen even before the year ends..

hmm.. feel that thru all this things, i have grown much more again . haha.. the things ard me made me change. and i feel things have been better in a way after i change.. the way of thinking, the way of behaving. much more better i guess.. haha..

yesterday went to iceskating as a class outing, it's been so long since i last ice skate man .. lol.. lucki still know how to skate.. haha.. see my trainer struggling for balance was a thing that i anticipate to see..lol.. sarah is a good skater. she teach me a bit of how to turn on the spot.. haha.. cool rite?

after that.. went to bball .. i am hyper-active k.. lol.. went to yuhua cc play.. long time nv go there le.. play 5 v 5 .. quanhong improve a lot sia.. hmm.. he will make a mark somewhere in his bball ba.. later many ah pek come to court and say they book the court at 8 .. den we have to leave and head to shuqun .. den continue play there ba.. haha..

hmm.. not forgetting it's WEI SIONG; DING YANG; XIN YI BIRTHDAY!
wahaha.. happi birthday to all of u ! hmm.. though nv get to celebrate with dy and xy .. i bet u guys are happi that u all have come to another phase in life which is becoming 18 .. haha... enjoy ur 18 life man ... hmm.. weisiong... we bought a cake from kbox and suprise him .. haha.. i hope he is happy.. den we sabo jiting again .. wahaha.. pour coke plus cake on his backside.. o0ps! wahaha.. =x..

later we proceed to jason hse .. without ws. and play hitman 4 while others play mahjong.. haha.. den i zZzzzzzz.. coz too tired le..

-YzW- happi birthday =D

arh... busy busy busy

2006-10-09T00:41:00.000+08:00

oh man .. from monday to friday .. seems like everyday got things that i need to do .. sian .. v sian .. projects can take half of my life away liao.. plus still got lots of outing . eg. class outing, imf outing.. wadeva shit la.. .but cannot dun go.. coz aiya wan to meet up together ma.. if i dun go den abit bad like tt..

hmm .. still got driving lessons to attend.. tml having my final thoery test.. hope can pass la.. shud be able to pass .. haha... can de.. be cautious and do carefullu each qns can le.. if tml pass.. i can book my TP date lo .. so better pass .. dun wan to wait for another few weeks or months.. hehe... i am going to have my test after my school.. and is like wad la.. 815 to 6.. .my timEtable is so damn freaking sianz... juz becoz of the merging from the hotel star class.. den we have to compromise with them .. coz they only attend school from monday to wed.. the other few days they go for work .. hais... some more they got sponsership .. kaos... hai.. talk abt tt .. wondering whether shud i go for HDHM .. sianz.. another 6k like tt.. dun wanna waste tt kind of money lehx.. only get a higher diploma.. =(

all together got 6 projects.. who can help me!!!! i dun wan to get stress.. somemore this term.. got 1 or 2 subj i tink i am struggling.. .how.. meaning tt is hard for me to understand.. particularly principal of communication and exhibition and convention.. die.. muz go check how many pointer this two subj. are le.. hais.. some more 8 to 6 like tt.. how to concentrate every lesson ... aiyo aiyo .. lol

today lianhong buy hitman 4 ... Wo0oHo0o !! yea.. after we settle it out, i will get to play soon ... wah.. storyline shiok .. very realistic... haha.. tink i am going to play play play this dec... oh ya.. talk abt december... hmm ... planning to go malaysia again ... haha... genting again ? lol .. KL too ... ya.. have to work out the money and everything.. see how lorx.. hope everyone get their decision made fast den tell me.. if not dilli dally cannot get anything done!!! FLINGSTER members.. tell me ur decision quick hoh... dun say anything anything den after that say this not good that one better... dun so indecisive.!

Hmm.. anyone who wan to tag along ... juz leave a tag lorx.. like.. hmm .. mayb .. haha... juz tell la.. den i will contact u .. and also .. =( my tagboard nobody tag le.. can collect dust liaoz.. sianz... k la.. mayb coz my link hard to type ar.. haha..

kk .. tired le.. better go slp .. if not tml cannot concentrate again.. den slp in class.. den teacher not happy.. give me lousy evaluation.. lol.. oh shit.. haven do a part of the proj. !!!! argH!!! sianz.. all u guys take care k !! all the best for those taking final year exam .. ur nov-dec break coming!! lol ..

-YzW- shag

getting into more actions

2006-10-02T01:28:00.000+08:00

woah .. suddenly i am getting involve in more and more soccer training or games or matches.. lol.. wonder why ? involve in street soccer, field soccer.. lol.. and that's the reason why i hurt my knee.. i am still able to walk .. juz that walking down the stairs is a trouble as my knees start to feel the pain..

hmm .. recently went to bugis.. lolx.. still the same old thing except thr arcade area have change the concept. haha.. nice lan shop they have.. but in the end still went to town instead to play lan as bugis lan do not have battlefield 2.. lol.. when we reach town , went to find wen wen before going to the lan shop.. play till 1130 den catch the last train home..

hmm.. now this sem 4 got lots of projs again.. but lots of calculation modules.. which i find it ok la.. lol ... my forte ba.. so muz maximise on it.. haha.. recieve A for my banquet.. thanks to the upgrade also la... haha.. gonna keep my concentration in skool ! haha.. cannot slack .. last sem le..

my driving .. yea.. been going to bbdc recently.. pass my basic.. pass my stage 1. goin to take final theory soon ..faster pass , faster book for TP ... wahhha.. so this 3-4 months kinda busy .. not getting enuff rest due to uneven timetable.. hais.. wad can i do to get more slp.. lol.. when have time to slp , no mood to slp .. lol..

-YzW- need more slp!

Last quarter of the year

2006-09-27T03:41:00.000+08:00

We are entering the last quater of the year with juz few days to go. How will my schedule be like for the next 3 months? basically is course , studies, tests, projects, exams. Recreation will only come last minute planning, therefore not v sure. Anitcipating for the december holiday to come. Hoping to get a good rest and at the same time enjoy myself.

Driving lessons has been ok la.. but think need to wait for a long queue before i can take my final theory test. bo bian have to wait lor. AFter that can book for my TP exam le.. hope can pass final easily la. lol ..

This term my studies should be a busy and hectic one, as usual. lol .. with lots of big project, big modules that i have to put in effort on . If not going to do well , will be a v sad thing to do ba. lol... so i will put in extra extra effort to it , coz after that tt 1 month i know i have nothing much to worry about ba.

Hmm.. jiting , ws and jon went to malaysia today ba, johorbahru to be exact. tink they went and play go kart. haha.. so exciting. but i have lessons tt's why nv tag along. They still have their holidays before their school start few weeks later. hais.. i wan to work, but realising that my timetable is so pack and not even enough time for me to play , where got time to work .wondering how my finance can be cope. some more this dec we planning to go KL , yea , muz make a trip back to my hometown. i am missing my relatives .

Hmm.. thiS few days so many ppl birthday. Bernerd then yongtah den sarah. lol .. continouosly. lol .. so zai . today see yongtah being force to drink 18 cups of soft drink or mocha. lolx. tt 18 cups cost up to around 10.80

haha.. have been contacting her and went out with her with frens. Kind of easy to get along and talk and play with. she is out-going and sociable but somewhat cannot understand what is going thru her mind. She do things sometimes secretly which i find v mysterious and not to my liking. Coz this always keep me in suspense which in turn makes my mind anyhow tink .. wahahahh..

However, yea she got a bf .lol .. all i can do is to be a fren to her ba .. cannot expect much from her as fren can only go to a certain limit. i cannot tell her anything coz she has a bf.. i cannot cannot cannot. lol.. hope she doesn't come to my blog. if not mayb we wun be talking anymore. i dun wish to wait or hpoing that she will break or wad. i juz wondering shud i juz move on with my life and not getting into another chance of being hurt . ? any comments or opinion of what i shud do?

-YzW- by the side

my 100th post..

2006-09-18T03:48:00.000+08:00

yea .. this is my 100th post... juz realise that .. lol....

However, my 100th post will be a v emo one.. coz things juz din turn out right for my today in anyway .

Woke up at 10.. have to do a 11 hr shift today .. frmo 1200 to 2300.. so tired, din slp well yet need to work for such a long shift.. hais... yah ... keep going to the rest area and rest.. and forget to bring enuff money out today .. sianz.. lunch and dinner din eat much .. hais.. feel so pathetic..

tt 11 hr shift was so tiring, and i need to rush back and watch the man u v arsenal match which i v anxious abt.. yea.. so when 10 plus.. hoping to go le.. den when was dismiss.. i rush home.. to my dismay .. man u lost.. haiz.. i dunno la.. things juz juz go wrong.. tml newspaper is going to be one tt i tell myself i nv wan to buy .. headline sure talk good things abt arsenal and shoot man u like fuck ... i dun wan to read things tt dun excite but agitate me.. knn.. starting to get sick le.. having back ache.. hais..

After that.. got into conversation with her, found out that she's .... ... .. . ya.. den sian la.. haiz.. have to be happy for her i guess.. but deep inside i know it's painful.. yea, jiting did console me telling me that i dun even know her much . but what i can tell u is that after this whole day of bad things happening.. this add salt to my wound.. i really was dealt with a great blow.. i was so sad that i was tempt to tell her.. jiting feels she is not worth me doing anything.. but feelings is feelings.. u can't deny it when u like some one.. no matter how long or how short.. when love happens it just happens.. everyone knows tt...

i tink things juz happen la.. i know its sux.. i have to bear with it .. right or wrong choices made, i have to bear the consequences.. life for me is like a ferris wheel.. when u reach the top , u always come down again .. when u r down , u build up ur confidence to go up again.. this cycle will nv ends... why? can't i have a ferris wheel tt only go up .. u know, i really feel there is something wrong with me in terms of my personality and behaviour.. i dunno.. i thot i am the same.. but inside me i feel so different.. hais.. no more confidence.. juz like a toilet bowl.. flush all my confidence off with juz a simple twist of hand..

i love her.. i know is weird , but it's jus there.. am i desperate? i dun tink so.. i tink i have other choices.. but i am not interested to be with someone i dun have feelings for... is not my standard or expectations is high .. mayb what some of u say... i always goes in the wrong time..

or mayb .. mayb God is showing what i will be without Him.. hais....

-YzW- what a day , and it's my 100th post.. =(

confuse..

2006-09-17T04:40:00.000+08:00

woke up early in the morning, had to go for drving lessons.. lol.. today is the first time i meet my actual instructor and he was damn cool lor.. lol.. he was previously a private instructor and he come and help bbdc, den in the end lol, he tell me all the bad things abt the bbdc.. lol... and i feel that what he says is true.. i feel so blessed to have him as a instructor la.. lol..

after that , went to buy carrot cake and went to jiting hse .. lol. .together with a soya bean drink .we ate out breakfast.. lol.. after that , i was so tired tt i sleep in his hse for quite some hrs.. lol... we play dota one after another, haha.. yea.. we are dota freaks.. lolx.. dunno wad to say sia.. addict to it le la.. dunno why.. bUT after so long still so no0b.. lol.. dunno how to improve..

hmm. .. have to rush to the fullerton hotel to do my shift.. lolx.. .and it was another usual work i do.. stand , help a bit, dinner , stand off.. lol.x.den went to chevron for the shuqun chalet.. most of the flingster member were there..lol.. me and jason help to bbq. been long since i last stand there and help ppl and bbq.. damn ht man .. den some of us take out our shirt.. .then i realise that i am growing a bit fat.. lolx... mayb .. mayb not la.. lolx... .mayb is a beer belly.. lol... .after the bbq.. .we went to toh guan and drink .. while drinking, we talk abt our future ideas.. abt opening a jamming studio .. lolx... depends on how things go la.. it is not easy to start a buisness.. i am interested but i dunno whether i am commit... drink quite an amt.. but not drunk .. juz a bit seh only.. lolx... still sober hoh.. i not lousy de la.. apple a bit drunk .. lol.. =X..

hhmm... mizz her so much .. dunno why even though things is not helping the situation.. as i tink abt her, i start to like her more.. i really dunno did i make a wrong choice to like her.. actually is din make any choice.. is my feeeling which start to fall in love with her.. but however, i tink she got better choices... i dun tink i am a guy which can give her what she want.. some of u may tink i haven even tried.. but i feel , yah , i dun have the capablilties to do it.. unless something or some one boost my confidence.. i dunnoo.. i really dunno what step to take now.. she even ask me what to do in her relationship ... haiz... she treat me like a fren ba.. she juz contact me when she need.. i have lost the war , i dare to say i dominate the war in the early part of my life.. but now... i am losing each better after another.. .phew.. i juz miss her lots.. anyone can tell me what to do.. i dun really know her quite long.. but i know my feelings for her is there... if u wanna tell me to give some time to sort out mayb is it a crush or wad, i am v afraid that she might be attached by then .. i dun wan tt to happen.. i wan her to be with me.. but i know the chances are so minimal that it is hard to predict.. any opinions? tag.. thanks..

thanks ber for tt support.. hope u are doing well in ur imf too.. see u soon when skool reopen ...

-YzW- her ..

shud i?

2006-09-16T04:42:00.000+08:00

wonder shud i tell her my feelings for her. or shud i keep quiet abt and let her be... i really dunno.. if i really tell her abt it, she will be suprise i guess..coz i dun tink she know much abt me, nor does she wan to know abt me.. guess in her heart there is other ppl which is more impt to her..

i dunno whether tis is a crush or wad.. juz feeling in love with someone.. i know mayb if its a crush , tis feeling will go away soon.. but i am always tempt to contact her.. not v sure why .. well.. mayb like what jiting says, she dun ususally go for serious relationship.. yea.. probably. from the way she behave.. get to know her just, but feel like it's been quite some time.. dunno why my mind keeps tinking of her whole day.. i know i can only contact her only abt a few mins a day .. sometimes not even able to contact her.. she seem interested in other things instead.. i guess i really dun understand her tt much .. mayb not even a little. i wan to know her more.. but how.. i have minimal contact with her.. i am afraid to take any further steps as i scare i may go too far off.. i scare she will aviod me ..

doesn;t seem to be the last time zW. . who always dare to do things ,.. now.. juz like a coward .. a person with no faith.. a person who lost his courage .. why have i change into like a loser... why can't i be a winner easily.. i always try to optimistic but things always turn out the other way .. not even.. and i emphasize not even a single time i suceed..

God has it's reason for this. i dunno.. i guess i have to find out from Him..

-YzW- heR, and still hEr evEn iF it isn't hEr

know nuts

2006-09-15T03:49:00.000+08:00

Another day has pass for the imf thinggy .. lol.. hmm ... getting quite use to it le la.. play around , hang around , look around, help around.. okok .. i bet u guys are bored abt listening to my sharing of imf.. let's talk abt other thing eh?

hmm... my love life sux. wahahha... interesting? or nort? let me elaborate a bit .. abit only nia.. kk.. why nort i summarise with 5 words...

Flirt=Regret=Single=Reject=Failure
juz miss her , but realise dun understand her ..

hmm.. tt's abt all ..lol ... those who know me well understand wad i am talking..

next topic..
this year.. hmm.. Chalet for 4e6? i not so sure how many will turn up .. 4e6 people.. tag me if u wan chalet k.. i try organise.. remember my enthu in keep the spirit there.. lol.. still miss u guys.. juz that i have too much thing to do.. and moreover, it's not me who is the only busy one.

eg. mf = a lvl, steph= attachment, chun= juz came back from oversea, kaixin= monkeying ard, julye= work? mil= ??? , ben= whoelse, jiayong= clubbing?? lol.. , yi= hiding in tortoise shell, jiting= dota and work, dingyang=??? , so .. lol.. nt my fault k .. lol .... will get back to u guys de la.. will hang out as usual.. take good care guys..

hehe.. looks like all my connections with ppl have decrease .. i tink , hmm.. yea, this people have thier own lives to live, and mayb they are getting on with it which cause changes in them. all the best gals and guys.. achieve big in life..

anybody out there who thinks u understand me the most? tell me k .. i dun even understand myself.. what i wan , what i am going for, why i behave this or that.. who can tell me man .. lol.. weird zhengway .. no one can predict what will dis guy do.. but one would know he is still trying to get himself going.. need the right influence and motivation..

-YzW- let it be, nth i can do .. she's out of league

Little man

2006-09-14T04:57:00.000+08:00

Today went to watch the movie the little man .. wahaha.. yup.. one of my two off days during the imf period.. phew.. tt means... later i am going back to fullerton and stand again .. sianz.. lol .. no choice ma.. lol... .hmm.. .juz found out tt driving lessons abt 30 lessons.. which is so so ex.. lol... i have only done 2 lessons... but book another 6 le.. lol.. sianz la.. dunno when den can finish it quick.

Hmm.. we were thinking where to have our movie watch .. was thinking jp .. but i suggested let's go town instead of jp .. i dun feel good abt going jp today .. haha.. only Jiting knows why .. hmm.. so me jiting and zhenguan took train there and have our dinner at yoshinoya.. cheap food.. coz student meal .. lol.. den came lianhong and jonathan .. and we are all set and ready to watch tt movie

Hmm.. the movie was freaking funny. lol.. i was so afraid to watch at first coz i saw the rating for the movie on the newspaper only give 1 and a half star out of 5 ... woah ... but i was a funny and good storyline .. guess the person who rate it has a different type of taste of shows.. i feel that the ratings may mislead some people like me who like to watch this kind of shows.. haha.

din recieve the reply.. kinda depressed.. only recieve a sms from MOS.. lol.. tml got event.. but i am working and even if i am not .. it may not be a good idea to go .. lol.. so for the whole day i been waiting.. but as expected... nothing came .. so i went home and get myself ready for the champions league match .. hehe.. juz miss her lots..

-YzW- 6day straight work! =(

all over again

2006-09-13T05:22:00.000+08:00

Imf has started.. for the first two days , it was kinda boring... yea.. and today is the 2nd day, so i can't share anything interesting with you . lol.. however, i was slacking la.. lol.. got a xchange room ma.. den is like can go there rest as and when u like.. lol.. sit there drink coffee and tea... eat biscuit.. like nobody bisnes lor.. lol... hmm ... 8 hrs.. pass quite slow actually.. nth i can do except watchin the people walkin in and out the hotel.. lol..

always anticipating the 11pm to come.. lol.. coz it's time to go home.... lol.. yea .. for the two days.. after work went to find the gang.. and i suddenly feel something weird abt them .. mayb i am tinking too much , being sensitive.. haha.. not sure. but yea.. still hang out play dota.. drink chivas that jiting brought back.. lol..

hmm.. kinda can't anticipate my mood , not say mood swing la.. but when things juz irks me.. i tend to get piss off.. but tt pissing off action only inside my heart itself.. i dun show it off coz it will not be a good thing... lol.. yea.. hate it when ppl or things irks me .. lol.. but i am keeping my cool towards people ..

Hmm.. one thing to mention is.. trust.. i know there is some one out there or mayb even more do not sometimes trust the words i say .. and they become hypocrite and act as if i am lying to them.. they pretend nth happen .. yea.. tt irks me too .. haiz.. sometimes being a joker is not a good thing.. people dun trust ur words even though u say the truth.. i like being a joker.. lol.. the reason is becoz i like to see people laugh.. like them to hang out with me.. like them to enjoy my prescence.. but now some of them tink i m a clown to them.. haiz.. do i deserve that?

sincerely speaking.. i have fell in love with this gal.. not say very deep.. which only happen recently.. kinda like her characteristic and the way she portray herself.. but i dare not attempt to go for it anymore.. blows after blows have been dealt to me .. i have no courage or confidence at all.. plus i know she is popular.. and she have a large circle of frens .. what can i do .. ?? mayb i shud juz treat this as a crush ba.. haha..

-YzW- dun wan to get the same situation

exams over.. now imf..

2006-09-10T02:19:00.000+08:00

Yea... no more stress regarding exams... and i am on my holiday .. eh.. sort of holiday with only fri sat and sun .. lol.. meaning this monday i am going to start my imf.. sianz rite.. lol.. those poly student got a month or more of holiday and i have 3! .. lol . nvm , dun wan complain.. juz cherish mine can le.. whahhaha..

hmm... today went for driving lessons again and it was freaking cool!!! i drove outside the circuit onto the main road.. and so shiok man .. wahahah.. can see people walking around.. pedestrain .. zebra crossing.. lucki din knock anyone down. .wahahah.. it was cool .. really cool.. cool till i make lots of mistakes.. wahahaha.. din stop infront of the stop line.. lol.. lucki no car.. den it was like scary lor.. the trainer was patience with me.. luckily.. if not he will not let me drive i tink. .wahah..

Hmm.. so to summarise the whole term... it was hectic with projects.. modules are not easy at all .. need to listen in class and memorise lots of things.. but i hope i can aheive good grades to push my gpa.. yea.. lol.. however, doris and lan are too hardworking and smart.. i can only see their back .. they are side by side .. lol.. however, good course tutor we had.. and we are going to have him again next turn .. which is good.. coz he knows what we need but also maintain a good relationship with us.. he will not let us climb over his head but at the same time.. give us what we need in our studies..

hmm .. Manchester united won 4 out of 4.. and tt's 12 point .. yippy.. wahaha.. shiok hoh.. man u fans like me are all excited about this season.. at this moment la.. coz they are going to face arsenal on the next fixture.. but Rooney and scholes is back.. yea..

k la.. imf coming means long working hours.. means cash !! lol.. but thinking shud i invest the cash in my drving or use it for my recreational activities.. lol.. such as.... CLUBBIN.. wahhaah... but my lovely jiting is gone at taiwan to participate in the DAO BIAN .. lol.. no la.. he's on holiday with his family.. at taiwan .. hmm.. lots of ppl call him buy thing .. kinda miss him..lol.. in the sense of less people for dota.. less peolpe to go out with.. less everything less.. coz he revolves my life as a v good buddie of mine..

hmm.. kinda feel so weird when things came into my mind.. sometimes.. my heart too.. kinda feel lost about what to do next... about what will happen .. do not dare coz many times i have been defeated.. not in terms of effort.. coz i know effort will bring results.. but not in some aspects.. confidence is good but not in that aspect. lol.. yes.. love.. but seeing lianhong and apple , i feel happy for them.. haha.. but when ppl ask me do i have gf.. i say no v proudly.. mayb becoz people always thot i MUZ be attach.. haha.. in any case.. i let feelings and god to take over tt aspect.. =)

-YzW- miss jiting.. lol .. sound so gay.. =P

Exam week

2006-09-03T23:34:00.000+08:00

haha.. .same old sequence again... it's exam time! .. and a time for me to be stress.. lol.. though not as stress as previous term, but the need of memorising and time-usage is so taxing for my life.. lol... but bo bian .. lolx.. want good result , muz work hard.. no pain no gain rite.. lol...

today got ppl say i kiddy.. i behave like small boy .. lol... die la.. i still haven mature in terms of my behaviour eh? sad sad.. cannot la.. muz be gentleman la.. lol.. wan to change but always drop inside situation where i suddenly behave so immature.. wahahahah.. but sometimes is good to be immature.. those ppl around u will enjoy ur actions and immatureness...

Hmm.. guess i have to adapt myself to the circumstances that is going to happen around me. if ppl wants be to be immature, den i'll be.. if not. i be a gentleman which i find it important to be one. lol .. muz grow up like a man ... haha.. frens ard me can help me improve.. give me feedback and suggestion hoh.. i am 18 le.. muz be one tt looks like 18 at times!! haha.. yah. .at times..

Hmm... got 6 papers in 4 days... 4 which i can say i have confident.. but after some revision.. looks like only 1 or 2 can handle only.. lol .. nvm .. i can do it de.. muz have confidence.. after this 4 days.. IMF coming up .. but in between that.. i wan to enjoy myself.. hehe.. hope there is time for me to enjoy la... this term is quite draining in terms of projects.. all mounting up over one and other.. i will conclude abt this term acheivement... as my performance of my exam is not over yet.. which is bascially the most impt part of the term.. haha... i wan my GPA to increase to 3.7 or even 3.8 if possible.. lol .. =X ...

yesterday i juz make a decision of not intefering someone life anymore.. she is a lovely gal but i guess her attitude towards me is somewhat sarcastic and unpleasing in my point of view.. i dun care anyone disagree with my opinion abt her coz she already did those actions to me.. all the best to her life.. now i know sometimes i over-estimate myself to go concern for them.. i am wrong too .. tt's why i have to change in some aspects of my behaviour.

A qns for all my close frens... am i a guy who talk without thinking twice.??? if u dunno the answer.. den is weird le.. haha.. i am a guy who talk without thinking.. i talk rubbish!!! i talk nonsense and say lame or even cool jokes to entertain ppl... no one take my words seriously de... as they know i dun meant it.. for my close frens la.. unless i am dead serious.. then they will know what i say is true.. if not, if not i am not serious abt what i say to u ppl , coz my words can be hurtful, insulting or even harmful to your ears.. but for those who understand me well , they will juz play along with me.. coz they know i dun mean it.. and what i say is for entertainment purposes..

I dun insult ppl family, or even say stupid things tt really is no way to be call a joke.. even if i say it .. i know it and i will apologise.. so i guess i have to apologise to those who are hurt by my words... i am truely sorry .. i guess i have to understand someone better in order to talk open jokes .. really sorry ...=D ...

go study le!! lol..

-YzW- Aiming all As or B+!!! =P

Happy brithday Pearly

2006-09-02T15:29:00.000+08:00

Hey guys, September 1st is Pearly's birthday . Know who she is? haha... she is the hmm... how should i say ... yuhua one la.. one batch older than mine. lol..

Http://www.flingster.blogspot.com <--- go see the wonderful and creative video now!!

Happy bird day to u k pearly.. take care and enjoy ur start of ur 19th year..

-YzW- watch the VIDEO

exams?

2006-08-29T02:31:00.000+08:00

yea.. exams is juz around the corner, which is actually next week!!! haha... am i nervous? not really.. why is tt so ? coz i guess i am mad.. lol.. to be actually playing ard when the exams are coming doesn't seem to be a good sign..lol

But i dun care.. juz wanna enjoy my life.. lol. . hmm.. this wednesday i am going back to yhss.. yes. going back to see my teachers.. lol.. guess all of them miss me eh? lol.. and on tt day itslef, i am going to start my driving practical.. lol .. better be a smooth one man .. if not i will be too shiok to drive in future.. lol...

all my freaking frens are having holiday ... idiot.. good la u guys.. can enjoy.. yet me exam is ard the corner.. and u know what, when my exam start, it is the start of the sec and jc school holidays.. shatec plan their timetable so well man .. lol. . this is shit.. lol .. u guys better enjoy ur holiday dun grumble that there is not enuff.. i am only the person , or shud i say shatec students only have the right to grumble.. lol..

hmm.. life is happy when u are enjoying wad u doing.. so ppl do enjoy ur life k.. treat every seconds and every moment impt enuff so u will not regret wasting the time u once have.. cherish all the people ard u .. ur family too .. boyfriend gal friend, cherish them k .. haha.. hmm.. dun ever make other ppl life suffered unless u are a sicko..

so far being a single has make me know and do quite a lot of things. i am able to do what i wan , be what i wanna be. lol.. though lack of the love from a gal.. but i feel that is not impt at all at this moment. if i were to have one now.. i tink i couldn't do a lot of things.. like doing well for my studies, go for my driving lesssons., finsh my projs, go out with my frens.. meanin that i would not have enuff time to do all this things.. haha.. so , ppl who are wondering why i am still single, is becoz i dun need to be attach i guess.. i know the past zw is abit different from now in terms of relationship.. but dun worry .. the right gal will come for me eh.. lololol.. who is the lucky gal..whhahahaha.. u ppl out there.. those who are single. better make correct choices b4 u get into one .. i seems like a fairy tale when u get into one.. but it all turn nightmare when i start to goes wrong..

some ppl may wonder why things go wrong in relatiionship. mainly is becoz of the decision make by both parties before they get together.. some ppl get into one so fast tt they din even tink abt what will happen next, some do tink abt it but not abt how detail things will be.. yes.. love is abt feelings, but tt's only love, when talk abt relationship , time, trust, and many other factors comes into place.. some ppl may tink this things will fall into place.. but hell no , it will only be a obstacle for u 2 in the future. what i am trying to say is if u wan to get into a relationship , why not spend some time thinking abt what is going to happen in the future, and what it takes to sustain this relationship. some of u may not agree to what i say .. but tt's my opinion abt relationship.. hehe..

i wonder why i talk abt that.. lol.. but hope it helps some of the ppl out there.. =)

-YzW- cherish k!!

STB-IMF-HOTEL

2006-08-28T03:40:00.000+08:00

On saturday , which is yesterday , my class and i have to report to oriental hotel for the second meeting for the IMF event, which is conducted by the STB .. this time around , i din wake up late, therefore reach on time.. haha. .saw so many ppl walking to the hotel.. from NTU, NUS , army , and some shatec frens.. haha.. once we reach there.. we have to register

Registration

Yu Zheng Way Shatec S8871404J Fullerton Hotel

i am posted to fullerton hotel.. wtf.. so grand.. lol ... together with Kate.. we are going to work at fullerton for the whole IMF event.. kinda happy when i see it.. but howver, (juz to tell my shatec frens.. No hard feelings k .. we all earn the same amt..) this is because some of my shatec are post to some notso good hotel , but at least u guys get to work during the IMF.. i am lucky. that's all .. =X

After that, i get to meet my i/c and my group members. basicall y my ic/s are melvin and wayne. same name as me.. haha.. these 2 are army guys. den there are also girls namely, zhane<-- cool name ar? xue shi , eh. eh. got 2 other gals and kate.. shit..forget their name. lucky they dunno my blog .. lol. will go and find out.. and also a guy .. tink his name is keat hong.. haha... i am going to work night shift for the IMf which is 230-1100 everyday.. juz hope that can change shift so i will not rot on the same time everyday.. haha..

HmMm.. how come !!! why tag board all gals tag one.. lol.. no much guys except jony.. (thanks johnny). guys hate me ar.. lol.. anyway .. gals who tag me.. lol. keep on taggin and u will be tag by me coz i rarely tag ppl de.. lol.. (you people muz be thinkng, stupid guy , wan pple to tag him den rarely tag ppl .. ) lol .. k la.. i will tag if i tink is right.. =X ..

now 354 am le.. so late.. die.. tml have skool.. not like those poly students having their wonderful holiday and i am still struggling with my incoming exams.. lol.. u guys if nothing to do can sms me motivate me to study hoh.. it's only 5cents or free k .. lol.. my exam only 4 days.. 4x5cents=20cents. i pay u ppl back if u all want.. lol.. see who is sincere!!!

k la.. i better go slp.. some projects haven finish .. die.. lan will scold me le.. lol .. anyway ..MAN U won this weekend again .. so did chelsea.. =( lol.. hack dem .. we are top .. lol.. haha.. take care all of u guys and gals.. teachers day coming too.. better send regards to the teacher u like man .. hehe.. zzZZZzzZzZ..

-YzW- back super pain..